Melissa* writes
Twelve months on I was pregnant with number two. I wasn’t fearful of the birth this time and I still had my wonderful doctor who I trusted, but this time it wasn’t the same. This time the pain was so intense, it came on so quickly and I felt so out of control. The pain killers made me hallucinate and I haemorraged afterward. The midwife did not assist me much at all and if it weren’t for my doctor I think I would still be pushing. I felt like I had been run over by a truck for weeks later and developed an anxiety response that keeps creeping up on me.
I would really like to have another baby but the memory of the second birth haunts me every day.
Has anyone else felt so traumatised after childbirth? And if so what did you do to move on and work up the courage to do it all over again?
Top Comments
Oh god... I know this is an awful thing to say, but I am glad there are other Mum's out there who are traumatised by birth. Everyone kept telling me "oh, you forget it in time"... NO.. I don't thing so.... I had 3 days of "pre-labour" I could not sleep, I couldn't rest, it was painful, and exhausting. I was then sent home by the hospital with a sleeping tablet and a couple of panadine forte, which actually allowed me about 4 hours sleep. After that, I was finally at 4 cm... I was kept in the hospital, I had a 36 hour labour the pain was so excrutiating, and then, with an epidural that did not take in one corner of my belly, She got stuck... I had to have forceps, and then her shoulders got stuck as well.
All in all, I had 3 days pre-labour, 36 hours full labour, 1 1/2 hours pushing and uncountable stitches.
My daughter is now 13 months, and I still can't bring myself to actually consider getting pregnant with number two. I know I want one, but I just can't do it yet.... The thought of birth again is just too terrifying.
my son was 2 in august and i still can't consider doing it again. i'm frequently asked when we'll have another and feel selfish that i haven't given him a sibling...
I had a traumatic first birth - labour followed by an emergency c-section. During my 2nd pregnancy, I began suffering panic attacks and knew I had to do something to alleviate my anxiety. I had some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy sessions to help me deal with my anxiety, and also was thrilled to find that the hospital I went to (public system!!) had a Birth Reflections Unit, where I could go and speak to a lovely, supportive midwife about my previous trauma. She, unbelievably, opened up my file and read through it with me, helping me to feel comfortable with my decision to have a planned c-section. I felt like I had someone at the hospital who was 'on my side' which was so important, considering that the general attitude from the midwives, seemed to really advocate a natural birth (which is fair enough, but I felt a bit like I had to justify myself to everyone about my choice, when I really just wanted support.)
I too participated in the Birth Reflections program. The BR counsellor was lovely, and I was so grateful to the hospital for providing such a needed and important service!