Welcome to Group Therapy where you get to ask and answer questions and contribute to the collective wisdom within the Mamamia community. Today’s question is about anxiety which is terribly terribly common and for some people, like Emily, can have a devastating and far-reaching impact on your whole life….
Emily* writes….
I have an anxiety disorder called “generalised anxiety disorder” which basically means I am anxious about alot of things all the time. What happens is I think of something bad and then I panic about it or I hear something and panic about it. Like today at work a supervisor said “Can I talk to you for a second?” and motioned for me to follow them, I immediately thought the worst my mind going straight to ‘what have I done wrong?’ then after a series of rapid negative thoughts that I could barely keep up with I was thinking I might get fired (I’m actually quite good at my job and havn’t ever done anything to deserve being fired, rationally I know that but in those moments I thought that might be happening) so I was shakey and about to get teary when the supervisor just wanted to ask my opinion about an email they had been sent from another department.
I mostly worry about my family and friends. My Mother sometimes messages me and will say “Can you call me as soon as you can?” and I immediately think something might be wrong with her or my sister or one of my grandparents. I can’t concentrate on anything as I’m imaging the posibilities, none of them good. So I stop what I’m doing straight away and call only to find out she wants to know if I’m free for dinner or something. I have worked at my current job for 18 months and my Mother has called the office once. I was given a message to call her and I was speaking to a customer when I was handed the note. I couldn’t concentrate, had to tell the customer I’d call them back and was holding back tears while dialing my Mother. I was so relieved when nothing was wrong that I cried anyway (I hid it as well as possible from collegues).
I also have a snake phobia. The word phobia is overused and has kinda lost its meaning, I have what is clinically described as a phobia, it’s not just a fear it’s more than that, it’s controlling and persistant and horrible. It has taken over my life, to an extent. I’m not just scared of snakes but other reptiles like lizards. Even those little tiny ‘skinks’ you see on he path or in your garden terrify me! As phobias do it has stretched itself to mean I now avoid anywhere where there might be a snake or lizard. This means any type of bushland, anywhere there is long grass or rocks and sometimes I don’t want to go in my own backyard. The other day I couldn’t get out of my car because something that looked like a blue tongue lizard was sittingon our wizbin. Lucky my fiancé was home so he could come out and save me from what turned out to be a stick. And, being winter, reptiles are in hybernation anyway! The last time I actually saw a snake I had a panic attack, so now I’m also scared that will happen again. The worst part is that it doesn’t seem irrational to me – snakes are deadly! A snake could kill me! When I try to isolate the fear it is difficult, I just know I don’t want to be anywhere near a snake or lizard. And since the panic attack (which was a few years ago but feels like yesterday) I have convinced myself that if I saw a snake in real life or if a lizard came anywhere near me I might have a heart attack (or something) and die.
I am scared to get treatment for the phobia because I know the treatment involves being exposed to snakes & lizards. If I see one on tv I have to change the channel so I’m scared of what the psychologist might make me do! And I know that generalised anxiety is the hardest disorder to work with (because it is so general) so at the moment I don’t feel like there’s any hope for me to get past it.
Some days it’s just hard to just get up and face the day……
*name changed
Me, I can’t get enough Rescue Remedy. I drink the stuff. I also have found meditation to help. Has anxiety touched your life? Over to you for some collective wisdom. What’s your experience and your advice for Emily?
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Top Comments
I have lived with anxiety since i was around 19 im 37 now !I have never taken medication but some days think i should.Have spent so much on counselling,naturopaths,homeopaths,herbilists you name it ive tried it.I worry about loads mainly my health even though im fit and healthy whats frustrating is i know i am healthy but your thoughts are a powerful thing!I remember reading a quote once that said "Do the one thing you are afraid of and the death of fear is certain" I remember thinking how true easier said then done but very true.I have relised while anxiety is a unpleasent sensation it is no means dangerous even though in the middle of attack you feel like it is.I have learnt to live with it i find exercise is great surrounding yourself with positive people. The physical sensations you get with anxiety are horrible and i suppose you can never fully control what goes through our minds but wecan control how we react to the thoughts.There is a great book PANIC AWAY by JOE BARRY i got of the internet which has some great techniques to help and really explains about anxiety disorders in a simple and reasuring way !All the best x
Hi Everyone,
Posting in this forum is kind of a last resort for me. I am twenty years old and have been on anti-depressant medicine for one and a half years. Even when on the medicine I go through days where I truly cannot face the world and all my past mistakes, break-ups and failures haunt me and I think of all the people that judge me and hate me even though I have so many wonderful people that love me. I sometimes cannot stay out of the house because I am convinced that people are looking at me thinking how disgusting I am and I would rather sleep all day than spend time with friends. I am slowly becoming passive to the point that I don't recognize myself and I am so afraid of loosing people that I'd rather ignore problems than face up to any hurtful comments or things that I don't agree with. On the days when I forget my medicine (or a day like today where I have run out but am too afraid to walk the 500m to the chemist) I go through crippling physical and mental withdrawals, with heart palpitations and dizziness and a dull headache, extreme anxiety and melancholy. I am so terrified that I am one day just going to absolutely loose it and be committed to an insane asylum or let my mother down by attempting suicide. I feel so selfish and alone, scared and needy. I know that this is not who I am and I am getting to the point where ten years of melancholy and anxiety, depression and feeling alone are just getting too much, I feel exhausted at the thought of ten more years of this. I came across this group looking for actual group meetings, kind of like alchoholics anonymous or something where I could get to know a group of people going through the same thing and find some sort of purpose in my life. I am at university which is my true anchor to life and I am completely committed to my degree and becoming a successful academic, I'm terrified that even this will be swallowed up by my illness like almost everything else has.
i know EXACTLY how you feel. i was diagnosed when i was 10 and have been on medication ever since. i am now almost 21 and still suffer similar feelings of not being worth it or being judged by the public. i am also at uni and love it, its what keeps me going. It's good to know that i am not the only one, i have spent 11 years thinking i was alone.