For many of us, Australian Survivor looks like a nightmare.
Watching the stranded castaways build their shelter out of palm leaves, wash their hair in salty sea water and survive on a diet of plain rice and beans had me rocking back and forth in the foetal position three nights a week.
In case you're feeling a little wistful over Kristie's surprise win and are considering applying for the show NEXT YEAR (yep, it's back for a second season!), I'm here to remind you about ALL THE GROSS THINGS that happened during their 55 day stay in Samoa.
Warning: ickiness ahead.
The injuries
That time Connor burnt his hand on the fire on the VERY. FIRST. DAY. Blisters + dirt = not fun times.
Survivor #BoilGate2016
When Kate had a BOIL growing in her armpit, and Jonathan LaPaglia had to watch while a syringe drained all of the pus.
We literally CANNOT WATCH this footage.
The 'local' diet
The lack of research and preparation that went into catching and eating a sea cucumber. Pretty sure you're not supposed to slice it when it's still raw.
Those chickens
Look, I have pet chickens, and sure, they look super cute. But they have really weird feet.
Therefore, gross. (Except for Chester, because he really Outlasted, Outwitted and Outplayed them all).
The lack of showers
This picture says it all, really.
That time of the month
Periods. Which, in and of themselves, are in no way, shape or form gross. They're a normal part of being a woman and if anyone is grossed out by the thought of them they should grow up.
BUT, the thought of having your period while stranded on a desert island when you can't shower or have access to proper toilet facilities is something that strikes fear into the heart of every woman.
The body hair
When you're not used to embracing your body hair in its 'natural state', the prospect of not being able to shave can be a daunting one.
Especially when you're surrounded by cameras 24/7.
Flick told Mamamia that she was so self-conscious about her underarm hair while on the show, that she feared lifting up her arms during challenges.
Dental hygiene...or lack thereof
It's pretty obvious that the contestants aren't allowed to properly clean themselves while on the show. But let's not forget they also aren't allowed to brush their teeth either.
No toothpaste x 55 days + sea cucumber lunch = NO FUN.
"I could not wait to clean my teeth," castaway Craig told Mamamia of his first action post-elimination.
"Even if I was clean I just kept trying to clean them because I thought I was dirty."
If I've learned anything from Australian Survivor it's this: staying indoors, at home, is the best way to stay clean.