Grammar police unite: The mistakes you can't stand.

By ROSIE WATERLAND

The people of the world can basically be split into two groups: Those who care about language and grammar, and those who do not. The whole Conservatives vs. Liberals thing is so 2012.

Now, these two groups could exist together in peace, if it weren’t for the total IMPASSIONED RAGE that grammar police feel the need to express whenever they see an apostrophe in the wrong place.

You would think that, as a writer, I would fall into the grammar police category. I really don’t. Of course I know the rules and follow them, but when I’m on a roll, I tend to care more about getting the message right than the spelling right. So if I’ve been writing for five hours and I get to the end and spot a stuff-up, I forgive myself. I correct it when I see it, but I don’t always do. Shit happens.

But then, that’s just me. For many others, it’s a very different story. This is an issue that some people care about very, VERY deeply.

The grammar police consider it their honour-bound duty to correct the world of words when it has gone askew. They are the men and women who stand up for what they believe and feel the incorrect use of the word ‘whom’ like it’s a dagger through their souls.

They are the men and women who fight the good fight, even when it feels impossible to win. They are the men and women who cried when ‘totes’ became a thing. They are heroes, dammit. Heroes who take the time to correct the mistakes I gloss over because I just don’t have a pure enough soul.

However you react to language and grammar stuff-ups: there’s no denying that rules are rules. And these are the most common ones that are broken:

1. Overusing the word literally

You didn’t literally die of shame when you tripped over. Unless you tripped over a cliff and died.

2. They’re/Their/There

Their going to there house because they like it they’re. Did reading that literally make you want to punch someone?

3. Your/You’re

Your eating you’re favourite chocolate. Mmmm. I could totes literally inhale some chocolate right now.

4. I could care less

I couldn’t care less about how much you care. Which is a obviously a lot, if you could care less.

5. Nauseous vs. Nauseated

If you’re nauseous, you literally smell really bad (and that’s a literal literally this time, I promise). If you’re nauseated, you feel like you want to throw up. This mistake could result in you ending up in two very different parts of the hospital, so get it right people.

6. Word inventions

While you may become disoriented when you find out that alright, irregardless, disorientated and whilst aren’t real words, you’ll be all right regardless.

7. Rogue apostrophes/commas

Stop clubbing, baby seals. Stop clubbing baby seal’s. Stop clubbing baby seals. What is Rosies Rosies’ Rosie’s obsession with clubbing baby seals? Stop talking about clubbing baby seals, Rosie.

What are the grammar/language mistakes that literally get under your skin?