I’m just going to come out and say it – as a society, we’ve become pretty bloody rude.
Somewhere along the way (I suspect circa 1985), we forgot our manners. We don’t instinctively give up a seat to a pregnant woman on a crowded bus. We forget to say please and thank you when we request and receive.
And it’s just not good enough.
Sure, some argue the manners we lived by in the past are now outdated, old fashioned and unnecessary.
We beg to differ.
We thinks previous generations were onto something.They nodded to the person approaching them on the street, acknowledged the friendly commuter who let them into traffic and asked to be excused from the table when they were done. They were polite, and they considered others.
And these are the simple, polite measures that need to make a comeback:
1. RSVP. Properly.
What kind of person doesn't RSVP? To a wedding? An disrespectful idiot, that's who.
Not only is it now common for people to not formally RSVP (via card in the mail), they sometimes don't respond AT ALL. They either just turn up on the day - or they don't.
Anyone who's ever been married knows your day hinges on the guest count. Family wars have started over the final number so when some rude person doesn't have the decency to let you know their availability, three months in advance, it just screams 'impolite'.
It's not just weddings. Birthday parties are also ripe ground for RSVP-avoidance. How hard is it to text a response? Email one? Come on now, bring back this courtesy.
2. Write thankyou notes.
I get it, we're busy. We're all 'busy'. But I'm here to tell you that NO ONE is too busy to thank Great Aunty Ethel for the beautiful shawl she knitted your NEW BORN SON. It's all some older folk want, hell it's all I want when I've taken the care and time to purchase or make a gift for someone.
Hearing nothing, not even an acknowledgement that they received your gift, is both rude and disrespectful. Say thank you, preferably in a handwritten note.
3. Give up your seat on public transport for the elderly, frail or pregnant
I'm generalising a little but a good proportion of commuters don't even look up to see the pregnant lady precariously hanging onto the rail as the tram stops and starts, let alone offer up their seat to them. There are signs suggesting this practice plastered everywhere but really, shouldn't it just be common decency?
Be aware, and teach your own kids it's the polite and worthy thing to do.
4. Take off your shoes when you enter a home
Now, most people will tell you that it's not necessary, to "not be silly" and just come on in. It's always good manners to check first though, especially when children could have stepped in god knows what before arriving.
5. Ask to leave the table.
These four magic words 'May I be excused?' really need to make a comeback. It's such a simple way for children to show they respect and thank their parents for preparing their meal.
6. Meet the parents before taking their daughter out on a date.
Look, there's no doubt that the thought of meeting the parents, for most, is an absolutely terrifying - but it's also a great character builder. It's only natural that parents will want to meet their child's friends, be they girl or boy so I propose that we bring back this tradition.
Not as a way to mortify your child ... but to show you care.
7. Give a 'thank you' wave.
Surely it's not too exhausting to lift a hand slightly and give a little wave of thanks when someone lets you into traffic? Apparently it is for some drivers.
Please, don't be so wrapped up in your own little vehicular bubble - ALWAYS say thanks. The roads will be much calmer for everyone.
8. Leave the place as you found it.
This lost art is perplexing to me. Be it at work, at home, at a sporting events, wherever you enter, leave it as you found it.
It's that easy.
9. Push your chair in as you leave the table.
I know this seems inconsequential but it really does signify two things: You are finished at the table and you are leaving it as you found it. It's just good manners.
10. Stand up to greet someone
In the dim, dark past, when someone entered the room, the tradition was to stand. Being that formal is a bit much, but a little respect when you are meeting someone for the first time goes a long way. Rise. Greet them with enthusiasm and warmth. It is the height of rudeness to remain seated and suggests that it is far too much trouble to, well, acknowledge them at all.
11. Say please and thank you.
Sounds like a no-brainer right? Wrong. The simple act of thanking or saying 'please' when we request something seems to be missing members of the younger generation. Let's bring them back and make them second nature.
12. Allow people to exit an area before entering it.
Again, seems like common sense. Why, then, do I witness every single morning a rush of people to the steps of the tram, basically fighting with the people who are trying to get off? Give them a minute. Allow them the courtesy to leave the tram (or even the lift), and then hop on.
13. If you've got nothing good to say, say nothing at all.
The internet can be a horrible, horrible place where people think it's perfectly okay to say terrible things to people they would never, EVER, say to their face. So, in the spirit of politeness, if you've only gotten horrible things to say, just be quiet. Thumper knew the rules:
There you have it. 13 old school manners that should be brought back in 2015 and ingrained into future generations.
Did we miss any? Or perhaps, do you think that these are now just outdated and we should 'get with the times?' We'd love to hear your thoughts below.
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