'I'm single and just went to a sex club for the first time. Here's what happened.'

Chatting with two of my single best friends, we all agreed there was something we wanted to tick off the bucket list this year. We wanted to experience a sex club. Within moments, Candy (yes, that was her sex club alias!) had found a newbie night at a local swingers' club in Sydney, called Our Secret Spot.

It was perfect for us, the owners would give a talk on the 101 of swinging and then the fun would begin.

On the night, we were so nervous, but excited. We talked about our boundaries and safe words. We all shared the same fear - that we’d be left alone on the sidelines while the others ended up having the time of their lives in an orgy.

Watch: Sexologist Chantelle Otten shares what you need to know cuckolding. Post continues after video.

We agreed we’d go and see what it was all about and repeatedly check in with each other, and if we weren’t enjoying ourselves, we’d leave together, go to a bar and have a big laugh about it. Nothing could have prepared us for just how much we’d love it.

There’s a strict no phones policy, so on arrival, we handed over our mobiles as a deposit for a locker key. Then, a thick black curtain was pulled back, and we stepped into the bar area.

There was a pool table, DJ, a pole and couches, nothing that screamed sex club just yet. Until we were taken on the tour. Upstairs to the right was the main playroom with a giant shower, two huge beds, and two more pushed together at the end of the room, creating one huge play area.

In the dimly lit hallway was a glass room with a sex swing and double-sided mirror, so we could see in but the people inside couldn’t see out. Then there were plush chaise lounges and couches before more private bedrooms.

If they left the door open with a chain across, you were welcome to watch, if the chain was down, you were invited to join in. If the door was closed, it meant the people inside were enjoying their privacy.

After the welcome speech, we quickly became the most overdressed there, as women stripped down to lingerie and men walked around in boxers, and that is where the surprises really began…

Confidence came from nowhere.

The thought of walking around in lingerie and high heels in a house full of strangers would normally send me into an insecure panic, worried about cellulite and wobbly bits. But here, we felt empowered and sexy. Think female bathroom at 2am, with women telling each other how amazing they looked and asking where your outfit is from.

People were hot!

One of our concerns was that we wouldn’t feel a spark or an attraction to anyone. There were people of all ages, shapes and ethnicities - and it was a seriously good-looking crowd.

Everyone was just SO nice.

There was a friendly, welcoming vibe, like a community.

Downstairs, in the basement is the dungeon. There was a massage bed, a glass cabinet full of spanking props, arm restraints and plenty of velvet surfaces to bend over. Intrigued, my friend 'Coco' politely interrupted one couple’s spanking session to ask if they’d do it on her. Seeing her bent over and hearing a smack, followed by her delighted shrieks, I couldn’t resist asking for a go too. As they took turns, him skilfully and rhythmically flogging me with soft leather tassels and her using a paddle to spank me with, then gently caress me with the fur side, I had a little laugh at this incredible situation we’d found ourselves in. When Coco wanted me to spank her, the couple very kindly took the time to teach me how to use the flogger, to flick my wrist so it whipped her properly and where to make it land for the best feeling (the fleshy lower or middle part of the bum is the most sensitive as it sends vibrations into the genitals!).

What I thought would turn me on didn’t, and vice versa.

With me still holding the flogger, Coco sat giggling on the massage bed. “Whip my boobs gently,” she said. So, with a flick of my wrist, the soft leather tassels met her skin with a crack. To contrast with the pain, I trailed the tassels over her breasts, down her body, between her legs and over her bare thighs. By now, a couple had joined us, and a curvy blonde sat next to Coco on the massage bed. “Do me,” she said seductively. As I whipped her breasts that were spilling over her lingerie and dragged the tassels down her body, she threw her head back and moaned. Without taking his eyes off her, her partner stroked her thigh. Alternating between my friend and this gorgeous stranger, I found myself getting turned on. Usually, I’m submissive in the bedroom - and straight - but having this control over them, and seeing them getting more aroused, did something unexpected to me. Meanwhile, every surface, couch and room was covered with writhing bodies, women on their knees giving oral, four or 10 people on a bed, like some kind of Renaissance art, where you didn’t know where one body ended and another started, didn’t stir anything in me. It was almost dream-like, or too much to take in.

Not everyone comes to have sex.

Lots of curious and open people come to watch. At the end of the beds, and in the dungeon are couches so voyeurs can sit back and enjoy the show.

Listen to Sealed Section where sexologist Chantelle Otten answers all the questions you're too afraid to ask your friends. Post continues below.

Consent is king (and very sexy).

“Are people just walking past you grabbing your boob or sticking a finger inside you?” one friend asked nervously when I told her where I’d been. Absolutely not. There are playroom attendants on hand the whole time, and if anything makes you feel uncomfortable, you’d be able to notify them. In a sex club, consent is key. I’ve felt more violated in nightclubs, by sweaty men grinding up against me, uninvited. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to and can say no at any time. Plus, there’s something very hot about someone whispering in your ear, “Can I kiss you?” or in Candy’s case to one of the single men, “Can I call you Daddy in the bedroom?”, before they went to a private room and consensually indulged in their shared love of the kink.

It was safe and hygienic.

They encourage safe sex and conversations around STI checks. There are dispensers on the walls next to all the beds with condoms in three different sizes, as well as lubricant, towels and fresh sheets and pillowcases. If one of the playroom attendants looking after the floor hasn’t had a chance to change the bedding between sessions, you’re welcome to do it yourself. There’s even mouthwash in all the bathrooms to freshen up.

The night didn’t end there!

Friends were made, social media handles were swapped, couples took singles back to their hotel rooms, we were invited to other swingers events, and we had an after party with two of the single men we’d met at the club. Candy had a dog walking date with hers, I had three orgasms back home with mine. Now we’re planning a more intimate gathering with a few of our single friends to see where the night takes us. Because for all of us, it’s something we definitely want to explore again.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.

Feature Image: Getty/Mamamia.