There are two things that a really excellent tube of lipstick has in common with a really excellent friendship.
- If it’s the right shade, it can provide the illusion of invincibility.
- Without the right attention, you’re bound to lose it.
Think about it. We all have (or had) a girlfriend that could easily become prey to the state of forgetfulness – abandoned on the sink of a restaurant bathroom, consigned to oblivion in the back of an Uber. Like the hardening of skin on the heels of your feet, it’s just another one of those terrible side effects of being an adult that nobody ever warns you about.
Despite more ways of getting in touch with each other than we each have underwear, life inevitably worms its way into our relationships. It allows conflicting schedules to push and forces changing priorities to pull until we’re faced with a great canyon of space between us.
And when you finally have the opportunity to mend those widening cracks, you kind of…collapse. Collapse into a great mess of emotion – happy, sad, curious, ecstatic, fearful.
That’s why I look forward to girl time.
Car karaoke: a girl time staple. Image: Giphy.
Before you try to convince me otherwise, let me just say - I agree. There isn’t anything wrong with contacting one another on Snapchat and WhatsApp and Facebook and Skype and Gchat (just to name a few). And I certainly don’t believe that the human race as we know it is a mere emoji update away from abolishing the English language entirely.
But I do believe that we might be forgoing our steak-and-three-veg-friendships for something akin to eating a bag of sherbet for dinner. A bit of fun, but not at all nourishing.
That’s why I look forward to girl time.
Now, let me assure you, the best conversations won’t bubble out of a WhatsApp thread. They’ll be found in-between your friend alerting you to the Chinese spinach wedged between your front teeth and debating which Olsen twin is superior: Mary-Kate or Ashley? You’ll zig and you’ll zag until the conversation suddenly threatens to pluck you out of orbit with just one simple sentence:
“We’re going to try to have a baby.”
“Can you feel this lump for me?”
“True or false: you can fall madly-in-love with more than one person.”
“Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone with whom I could…’”
The best conversations are had face to face. Image: iStock.
Of course, friendship is about splitting bagels, in-jokes and putting sunscreen on each other’s backs. It’s about where you’ve been and where you’re going - together and separately - and it’s about shared interests and similar values. But what separates a good friendship from a truly brilliant friendship is vulnerability and support.
That’s why I look forward to girl time.
I don’t know if you’ve noticed (points if you did!) but there has been one constant throughout this article: food. That isn’t just because I’m hungry, there is a point to my madness. I’ve come to realise that food is to friendship what meatballs are to spaghetti. They don’t need each other to survive but when put together, they’re a powerhouse. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, keep reading.
To my mind, food is downright therapeutic. Mainly because sharing a meal with someone is a 45 minute excuse to stop and reflect on the day that was, to escape from the daily grind, to reboot. It’s a time to talk - mouths half full of salmon and hummus - in a language that only close girlfriends understand.
"It’s a time to talk - mouths half full of salmon and hummus - in a language that only close girlfriends understand." Image: Giphy.
But best of all, when sharing a meal we can be open and candid because there’s food to distract, to soften the blow. In between bites you might say: “You know that deli-made beetroot salad you love? Well, it gives you really bad breath.” “Buying eyelashes for your car’s headlights is a horrible idea.” “People don’t need to know that you’re still watching Ally McBeal.”
This banter has nothing to do with tearing one another down. On the contrary, I’d call this exchange the mark of true friendship - the kind of friendship that is secure in its loyalty, its love. The kind of friendship that knows you’ll be grateful for being told that you have B.O after the gym.
That’s why I look forward to girl time.
And that’s why you’ll look forward to girl time.
Why do you look forward to girl time?