By REBECCA SPARROW
UPDATE:
Only four weeks after the attack and rape of a student on a moving bus in India, another six suspects have been arrested for their involvement in a separate incident – that also involved the gang rape of a female bus passenger.
The facts are truly horrific: A 29-year-old woman was the only person traveling on a bus to her village home – but the bus driver refused to stop at her village, and instead drove to a more secluded location. Once there, he and the bus conductor took her to a building where they were joined by five friends. The seven men took turns raping her throughout the evening, before she was dropped off at her village on Saturday morning.
Also over the weekend, Indian police arrested a 32-year-old man for raping and killing a nine-year-old girl, whose body was found two weeks after her disappearance. Last week, a seven-year-old girl was raped and murdered in Northern India after being abducted by a youth in a nearby district.
That such heartbreaking news continues to come out of India highlights the very real need for tougher rape laws, police reforms, and a tangible change to the culture of violence against women in the country.
A few weeks ago, Mamamia’s Deputy Editor Rebecca Sparrow wrote about the fact that, devastatingly, these are not isolated incidents and that India is continuing to fail its women.
Top Comments
The ingrained nature of the status and role of women is hard to change in the Indian culture. Even Indians who have come to the west, hold on to these beliefs and force it upon their daughters. Of course not all Indians do this, but many do. Particularly if they are newly arrived migrants. I have seen it in my own house and with a lot of my indian girl friends growing up here.
A lot of this cultural thinking ( read cultural crap) is not just happening in India - it happens right here in Australia. This includes:
- Boys (brothers) allowed to go out at night with no curfew but girls not allowed. If you fought for days, you could go for a bit but be back by 12pm (No respectable girl would stay out late at night with boys. Read = you are a slut if you do). And if you break the curfew? Well you might never go out again. And your mother gets blamed by your father for bringing you "wrong". So then you feel so much guilt that your mum is abused if you go out.
- Boys can interact openly with girls (go out, phone calls)- but if a girl did that - forget it. Sex before marriage? Sin. They'd send you off on the next plane if they ever found out. But totally okay for a guy to do it. Boys will be boys.
- Forcing girls to be a certain stereotype - dress very conservatively, speak only when spoken to, don't have opinions, always obey parents. Always hold on to the culture even if you are in the west.
- Forced arranged marriages. Matching up religion, caste, etc. You are a shame to your parents if you do not agree to this. Kids who agree to this are seen to be of the highest integrity, and their parents the proudest show offs on the planet. So you are constantly being pressured.
- Dowry (but of course this is illegal in India apparently but as if it doesn't happen) - let's just give the boy's family some "gifts" - especially since we are from "Australia" / "UK" etc - let's show our wealth, class and out do everyone else. It's just so much crap.
- Often there is a clash of culture between the guy who has lived in India in a patriarchal system and the Indian girl brought up in Australia when there is an arranged marriage. But of course you put up with it because divorce is the ultimate shame (second along sex before marriage). It's okay for the guy to hurt you in some instances - because of course you provoked him. The rate of domestic violence is alarming but often it is unreported. No you can't expect him to do the house work - that's not his job. If he cooks - ohhh the shame! he has lost his masculinity.
- When or if you do divorce in this situation, your parents and often the Indian community will criticise and cast judgement on you. Of course it was your fault. You have ruined your life (and if you have a child - his or her life). No one will want you again.
- Huge amounts of abortion of female fetuses after finding out the sex. People do not realise this is happening right here. I know of many stories where women have been forced against their will (often by their mother in laws) to abort the child if it is a girl. Yes it is happening here too.
I could go on and on....but basically, there are women who fight this battle outside of India in Western countries and it is bloody hard. It is a secret battle here, that the larger country doesn't know about. And even in a country where there is social support and equal rights (most of the time) and respect for women, it's hard. So I cannot imagine how this situation can change in India. I am very grateful that this issue is finally coming into the light internationally. I am so glad to be able to talk about this issue from a perspective of someone born and brought up here who was forced into a lot of these cultural "ideals" - but luckily I was strong enough to fight it and my parents loved me enough to accept my opinions in the end. But there are women who aren't so lucky - even here. Thanks for covering this issue MM!
Do not forget India has huge huge huge numbers of female infanticide. Number of dead female babies per year equals that of all babies born that year in the USA.