"I have one big problem with Gabi and Geoff splicing their DNA."

Gabi Grecko and Geoffrey Edelsten are having a baby. But should we be celebrating?

We know because last night Gabi put a picture of her positive pregnancy test on Instagram. We know because she told breakfast radio this morning that she is “three or four weeks” into her pregnancy.

Gabi said to the Daily Mail: “My gyno [gynecologist] called and left messages [on Saturday] and said, “You’re pregnant!” I then took another test for myself” (because, you know, gynos can be unreliable, so it’s always best to check a medical opinion with a test you bought at the supermarket). In truth, she wanted the test because it makes a killer Instagram pic. Gabi knows her brand.

The couple say the baby is a huge shock, but who knows? In one breath, Gabi says that the baby was a surprise. In the next, she says that she wasn’t using any form of contraception and they were trying for a baby.

It’s not really worth trying to trace the truth here. The story shifts with these guys. It always does. They tell tales (even the story of how they met is contested – she says they met at a fashion show; he says they met on the street) and they court public attention. He proposed at the Melbourne Cup in a canary yellow suit with tabloid cameras that just happened to be perfectly positioned.

So they tell little lies. That’s their thing. They love attention. They love to shock. Big deal. Everyone in Australia could do that if they wanted to.

This is what Gabi and Geoff’s baby is going to look like, according to makemebabies.com. You’re welcome.:

But there’s something that grates about this particular announcement. Something that just doesn’t sit right. Something wrong, even.

Gabi said to Fairfax Media this morning: “Me and Geoff are so happy we feel so blessed he told me before we were even engaged that I was the only woman he’d had ever wanted children with. He cried when we found out.”

So, Gabi is the only woman Geoff had ever wanted children with. That’s sweet.

Except.

Except when you remember that Geoffrey Edelsten already has a son. His name is Matthew and he is 26, the same age as Gabi. Geoffrey and Matthew don’t really speak, though Gabi is keen to help the pair reunite. Gabi told the Daily Mail last November that she felt like she could help bring Matthew and Geoffrey closer together because she and Matthew are close in age and she’d be able to relate to him.

I’m going to go ahead and suggest that Matthew isn’t going to be too thrilled to hear that Gabi is the only woman who Geoff ever wanted to have a baby with. That might make Matthew feel a bit shit, despite how close he and Gabi are in age.
Gabi and Geoff don’t seem that thoughtful and self-aware. They don’t necessarily think through the consequences of their actions. They live large. That’s who they are.

But, Geoffrey and Gabi are having a baby. They are bringing another person into their world – a world of shifting truths and exposure. A world where Mum announced she was breaking up with Dad on Instagram three days after becoming engaged. A world where Dad keeps mum’s engagement ring for safe keeping, presumably because he doesn’t trust her with it. A world where Mum nudes up in public and Dad gropes at mum’s boobs on the internet. A world where Mum and Dad are focussed on the next way they can shock Australia.

Hey, hey, Geoffrey and Gabi are having a baby.

Flick through the gallery below for more photos of Geoffrey and Gabi. (Post continues after gallery…)

Sure, Australia rolls its collective eyeballs but we’re down with it. Because we’re pretty laid back. They’re over-exposed liars who love to shock, but they’re entitled to their happiness. They can have a baby if they want. They can bring a baby into that whacky scenario. Cool. Whatever. Each to their own.

Except.

Except there are couples in Australia who want to have a baby where everyone doesn’t say: Cool. Whatever. Good for them.

Except there are couples in Australia who would make wonderful parents, and provide loving stable homes. But the law says, sorry, that’s not ok.

Except there are couples in Australia who would love to raise their children freely, but must protect their children from a loud minority of people who think that they’re not fit to be raising children at all. Being obnoxious, thoughtless and false isn’t their thing, but they are going to face discrimination that Gabi and Geoff couldn’t even imagine.

In four Australian states (South Australia, Queensland, Victoria and the Northern Territory), same sex couples are banned from adopting children (in those jurisdictions, only heterosexual couples who are married or in de facto relationships can adopt). In South Australia, lesbian couples who are fertile are prevented from accessing IVF (those who wish to do so must travel interstate for treatment). South Australia and Western Australia also ban altruistic surrogacy for same-sex couples.

That’s all before you get to the prejudice and discrimination faced by same sex families who wish to raise children.

So excuse me when I am not enthusiastic about Gabi and Geoffrey splicing their DNA and bringing a child into their circus. It seems like a hollow mockery that they can do it, while our laws deny so many other couples that chance.

As you watch this whole new chapter in the Gabi and Geoffrey melodrama unfold, ask yourself this: why this couple and not others? Why is this relationship right for bringing children into and a same sex family isn’t? A couple who lives to shock is better than a couple who lives to nurture.

Face it, Australia. You think Gabi and Geoffrey make good parents. And that the most shocking thing of all.

Are you happy for Geoff and Gabi? 

Want more like this? Try these:

Geoffrey Edelsten and Gabi Grecko: Famous for being awful.

Gabi Grecko and Geoffrey Edelsten appear on Studio 10.

Gabi Grecko hospitalised after leaving Geoffrey Edelsten.