ROAD TEST: I cancelled my expensive gym membership and replaced it with sex twice a day.

This is a story of why (and how) I decided to cancel my gym membership and replace it with a lot of sex.

For me, going to the gym just wasn’t working.

On average, most gyms in Australia charge around $20 per week. That’s 80 bucks a month. If you actually go, it can be worth the investment, but I hated losing that much cash when I was only dragging myself to the gym on and off.

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And the times I did go, my self-esteem often ended up crawling into a corner and crying itself to sleep.

I was surrounded by these beautiful women with toned bodies and new Lululemon leggings. The men were really ripped and had all sorts of pecs. My fitness instructor insisted on weighing me all the time. Not to mention, the music was terrible and I could never listen to my audio books in peace.

The worst part was coming home exhausted and having no energy left to do anything between the sheets (besides sleep). As you may imagine, my partner wasn’t too happy about that.

There was no lightbulb moment when I realised I should just quit the gym and burn calories in the bedroom instead. It had always been a little thought at the back of my head, though.

Admit it, you’ve considered it at some point as well.

This little thought slipped out of my mouth one night while talking to my partner ,who thought it was an excellent idea (naturally).

 

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The logistics of swapping exercise for sex.

One thing I decided right at the beginning was that this was not going to be a chore or an obligation. I did not want to think of sex in terms of calories burnt, I wanted to genuinely enjoy it.

We decided on having two sessions between the sheets every day.

I put some effort into figuring out the maths around what would be a good workout for me. After a little bit of research. I figured that if I multiplied 4.2 (the amount of energy in a kilojoule) by the number of minutes we were having sex, I would know the number of calories burnt. According to a study, thirty minutes of running on the treadmill burns around 267 calories. That sounded like a good enough workout for me so that’s what we aimed for.

As the average session (including foreplay) is said to last 30 minutes and burn 150 calories (judging by the quick Google search I did), we had to tweak it a little so we actually got results. One of these changes was the position – it’s common knowledge the person on top burns more calories. Therefore, we decided to alternate being the “top”.

There are also some positions where you actually burn more calories like Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, and even the Standing position.

I should also mention here that we both already follow a relatively healthy vegetarian diet – I don’t believe you can see any real progress with your body unless you’re eating well.

The first day of our new twice-daily “fitness” routine was, well, really funny. Both of couldn’t stop giggling and we had a lot of fun doing it. That night was also the most peaceful night of sleep I’d had in a while. The serotonin really did its job.

But real talk: sticking to our goal wasn’t easy because, as I said, I didn’t want sex to become a chore. We always averaged around 200-250 calories a day between our two sex sessions and the best part was finding creative ways to reach our goal. No workout would ever have to be the same again.

Let’s talk about the cons…

In all honesty, this experiment hasn’t always been a smooth ride. The whole ‘having an orgasm every time’ was an unforeseen tricky bit.

It’s a bit of a double-edged sword really. If you don’t orgasm, you might be left frustrated. And if you do (like more than twice or thrice a day), you are exhausted. Additionally, the thrill and allure of having an orgasm reduces because you just have them too often and don’t look forward to them like before.

Then, of course, not everyone wants to have sex twice a day, nor has the time or access to someone readily available for sex.

Sex drive is something you should definitely factor in before you cut up your gym membership card with pure, vicious, unadulterated joy. For the sake of this experiment, my partner and I stuck to our twice-daily routine, but that isn’t realistic for everyone.

Probably more realistic is combining regular sex with an active hobby you enjoy, like swimming, walking or playing a social sport. Or you could spend the money you would’ve put towards your weekly gym membership on a yoga or Pilates class once or twice a week.

There’s also the fact that if your fitness goals are to lose weight, build muscle or train for a sporting event, obviously sex and yoga won’t cut it. For me, it’s about feeling energised and happy, while staying fit.

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What about the pros?

Let’s just say this decision did a lot more than just make me fit. It led to a series of events that completely changed my life, for the better.

The first change was my mood. Oh boy, was I happy after my… err… workout. I was more relaxed and my self-esteem shot up sky high. And yes, my body has become more toned. Life is good.

Exercise versus regular sex: My final verdict.

If you’ve got the time and (sex) drive, I would most definitely recommend this.

Aside from burning fat, having sex frequently can be great for your mood and feeling connected to your partner. Something that also clicked for me was the importance of judging my health and fitness levels less on my weight, and more on my general well-being.

But realistically, it’s also about enjoying the experience. Sex isn’t fun when it’s forced or you’re making yourself do it when you’re not in the mood.

And most importantly, don’t forget the lube!

Feature Image: Supplied.