This post mentions miscarriage and may be triggering for some readers.
Too many people don’t appreciate what infertility can do to a woman’s soul.
What’s wrong with me, what’s wrong with my body, why don’t I deserve this?
You ask yourself these things every month you don’t fall pregnant when that’s all you want; which, for me, was 24 months.
Watch the trailer for Mamamia’s new fertility podcast, Get Me Pregnant. Post continues below.
I had my first and only child through IVF. It was relatively easy for me in comparison to so many of the stories of others I know. I mean, it was a nightmare of emotions and injections and appointments, and unmanaged expectations – but I was also very lucky.
I never had a miscarriage. I’ve never lost a baby. And I got a baby in the end.
Having said that, I’ve lost embryos in two painful ways that still haunt me, no matter how hard I try to shake the memory.
After my first failed IVF attempt, a friend, who was already a mother, wouldn’t acknowledge I saw it as a loss. But it was, to me. It was a lost chance for our embryo to become a much-wanted child. A child whom, in my head that was filled with hope and desperation, already existed.
Top Comments
So sorry to hear about your grief and loss of those embryos. I think it’s a wonderful decision to become a foster carer. I have a birth daughter and for various reasons was unable to give her a sibling. We ultimately took on a little girl into long-term foster care. Our two girls are just as close now as if they had both been born to me. Foster care can be challenging at times but also so rewarding. I wish you all the best in taking this next step to becoming a bigger family in a different way and providing a safe home to a child or children who need it.