Forced Adoption Apology: "We are the mothers of these children and we were persecuted."

Today, Prime Minister Julia Gillard will deliver a national apology to the tens of thousands of Australians affected by forced adoptions.

Forced adoption policies were in place in Australia from the 1950s to the 1970s. Those affected by the forced adoptions – mothers, fathers, children, siblings and extended family – have been lobbying for an apology since 2008, when Kevin Rudd first issued an apology to the Stolen Generation.

Keen to know more?

Here’s a quick guide to the history, the policy, the significance of today’s apology and most importantly, the stories of those who were affected.

How many forced adoptions took place and when did it happen?

The numbers vary wildly so it’s impossible to say for sure.

For decades it was the social norm to expect young and unmarried mothers to give up their children. A cultural attitude that prevailed not only in some church run institutions but allowed to take place – and sometimes encouraged – by government legislation at the time.

There are reportedly at least 150,000 Australian women who had their children taken from them by some churches and adoption agencies from the early 1950s to the 1970s. The situation has been described as a blight on Australia’s history.

Some estimates put the figure at 250,000 women affected in Victoria alone, as a result of state sanctioned policies. What we do know is that it was common, consistent and devastating for the families involved.

What is happening today?

The Prime Minister will deliver a national apology on behalf of all Australians, to those who were affected by the forced adoption policy. The apology will happen in the parliament today and the Leader of the Opposition will also have the opportunity to express his words of apology as well.

Prime Minister Julia Gillard will also announce $5 million for those affected by forced adoption. This money will give those who were affected access to specialist mental health support and support to be able to better trace their records and find their parents or children, if they wish.

The stories

Mrs Jean Ann Argus (Victoria)

“I would like to take you back and have you think about a few things. This is from a mother of a child that she lost to adoption. Think about the labour ward. Try to imagine a baby being born and you hearing that first cry of life, the life that you have created.

“You want to see that child, but you cannot because you are shackled to a bed or there is a pillow on your stomach which stops you from viewing that child. You ask for your baby

“You have carried this child. You have felt every movement while this child has been with you. You are the only person this baby knows. It has bonded with you in the womb and yet you are denied that right.

They have denied you the right of seeing your child. They have denied you the right of letting you know what the sex is of your child. Then there is silence. Your baby is taken and put in a different nursery somewhere, crying because the only person that baby knows is you, the mother. It does not know the nurse who took it out.

“We are the mothers of these children, the natural mothers who were persecuted. We were not even given the basic human right as a mother or a human being to make that choice, whether to keep our child or to adopt our child out. It was not given to us. Our rights were denied.”

Ms Judith Hendriksen (Western Australia)

“My beloved firstborn, a daughter, was born on my 17th birthday and taken from me illegally right at birth—stolen from me.

She had been ‘incarcerated’ in an unmarried mother’s home when her parents and the doctor colluded to give her baby up for adoption. She was not asked and she never spoke of it with her parents until many years later.

“As far as they were concerned it was in the past and that was it. It was never to be discussed. But I did approach them in 1995 and I told them how I was treated in that unmarried mothers home.

“Unfortunately I got the same reaction as when I was 16. My mum was upset and crying and saying, ‘Judy, you blame us for everything.’ My dad basically said he had been through the war and nothing could be as bad as that. Basically my feelings were invalidated.”

Ms Anita Welsh (Western Australia).

“I would like to try to describe the impact that adoption has had on my life. It was not the fact of getting pregnant so young; it was having my baby taken for no good reason that has had an effect and made me the person I am today. By making me believe that I was not fit to be a mother to my baby I took on the belief that I was not really good for anything and, in reality, I am actually a failure in most ways that matter in society.

“I am a misfit who has always felt outside things and I rarely give myself fully to anything. I have had three failed relationships and have children to three different fathers. My first three children—obviously, one of them is my lost son—are full siblings. My mother still pretends it never happened. We maintain a silence, so we continue to play happy families. When it comes to my life, it used to be a case of making things worse and worse. I had no understanding of why I was so uncaring of myself.

“I am not as out of control since I have been seeing my counsellor, but I am very antisocial and a bit of a hermit. As I get older I find I am less inclined to rage, scream and drink and have emotional meltdowns. Instead, I have just become sad, angry, bitter and generally miserable and I cry a lot. It sounds bleak and it is. It would not be so bad but my youngest child, my 12-year-old son, is living with me and my gloom has affected him since before he was even born. I used to attempt suicide, but I do not do that anymore. Now I just lie in bed and contemplate it.

“I live with the fear that my lost son hates me or at least is completely apathetic towards me. I have met him once and that was not a success at all. I was terrified then that he would not like me and I did not how to act towards him. I did not even hug him. Not that it looks likely, but the idea of meeting him again terrifies me. So there is a man out there somewhere who is my son and who I feel a very painful and complex love for but who has no interest whatsoever in me.

“I have also lost grandchildren. We have no common ground apart from biology, but he is my son and I love him. I am and I am not his mum. Ironically, the label ‘unmarried mother’ would have been bearable because I would have had my child to be proud of. Much, much harder to bear was the often asked question: how could you give your own baby away? I do not know. If you have to cry over and over again for decades without really understanding why, it sends you a bit mad.”

You can leave your messages of support or apology to those affected by forced adoption policies or your own personal story, in the comments section below.