KELLY MCCARREN: "I used to be a 'Kate'. Here's how I became a 'Tully'."

I was a bit late to the Bridgerton craze, like at least a month behind the rest of the world and their collective obsession with the amazing 'plot'. 

So I was pretty stoked to only be about a week behind the Firefly Lane mania. If you're looking for something light and easy to watch, Firefly Lane is for you; it's a heartwarming story about two girls who meet as teenagers, and it flips back and forth between the decades of friendship and pivotal moments in time.   

Watch the trailer for Firefly Lane. Post continues below.

When I first started watching it, I didn't think much of Tully (who I will annoyingly refer to as Izzy Stevens forever); she was overbearing, annoyingly obnoxious, and I didn't think she was an overly good friend. 

Well, I'm finished, and despite having no idea what causes THAT cliffhanger, I think that she's an EXCELLENT friend. 

Everyone needs a Tully.  

If you met me now or followed me on social media, you'd probably think I was a Tully. I'm loud, assertive, confident, and ever so slightly obnoxious. 

But for the majority of my life, I have resonated with the character of Kate, which is why I've enjoyed watching the show so much.

Kate and Tully are best friends, but Kate lives in the shadow of Tully; she's an awkward, shy, nerdy girl with huge glasses, and Tully is forever trying to egg her on and encourage her. 

In my teenage years and for a lot of my 20s, I was Kate (complete with the oversized glasses) and the only reason I'm 'me' now, is because of the Tully's in my life who are my cheerleaders and pushy life coaches. 

I have a bunch of Tully's that I'm lucky enough to call my friends, but today, I'd like to tell you about my experiences with two in particular…

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I was bullied pretty badly in primary school, so my parents wanted to send me to a different high school for a fresh start. 

On the induction day, I was TRANSFIXED by this tall, confident, popular girl. She knew everyone and spoke to everyone, and everyone seemed to know who she was and liked her. I was desperate to be her friend. 

Her name was Sandy.  

In my first year of university, I didn't know anyone and struggled to make friends. I was always in awe of this really animated, funny, smart girl that talked to everyone and who was idolised by every person who met her. 

Her name was Ashley. 

Sandy and Ashley are my closest friends in the world. They've been my best friends for 21 and 13 years respectively, and the majority of my close female friendships follow a similar narrative of how we came to be friends. 

Kelly with her two best friends. Image: Suppplied. I've always been attracted to strong, powerful women, craving their friendship. I think it's because it's who I always wanted to be, but was held back by crushing insecurities and shyness. 

When I was younger, Sandy and Ashley were Tully, and I was Kate. 

No one knew who I was or cared if I was at a party. No one noticed me. They noticed my best friends.

But just like Tully, these powerful female friends encouraged me and helped me become who I am today. 

It was Sandy who encouraged me to perform and write and would take me to parties to meet people. 

Ashley would encourage me to just be my weird self and confidently walk into any room filled with any group of people. 

90 per cent of my close female friendships are with women I wanted to be friends with and sought after (which is kinda creepy, on reflection), or with women I decided I 'didn't like' upon meeting, until I got to know them - which was probably just my insecurities rearing up. 

It's only because of all the Tully's I've surrounded myself with that I feel I can really own my true self and now be perceived as a Tully, too.

So if read this and thought of your own Tully, make sure you reach out and let her know just how awesome she is. 

Feature Image: Netflix.

This article originally appeared in Kelly McCarren’s weekly newsletter, Strictly Bants, which you can subscribe to right here.

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