friendship

"Utterly soul destroying." 3 women share exactly what it felt like to lose their best friend.

If we can learn anything from Kylie Jenner and Jordyn Woods, it’s that even the ‘tightest’ best friends can unexpectedly part ways.

It may not be a salacious scandal that millions talk about, it might be something that no one talks about. It can be quiet, slow moving and subtle, and in some cases, unutterably tragic.

No matter what the circumstances, it’s likely spectacularly painful and often heartbreaking for at least one party involved.

Mamamia spoke with three women whose best friends left their life. They shared with us how and why it happened, and most importantly, how it made them feel.

Side note – Kylie Jenner says she’s scared of Jordyn Woods after her betrayal. Post continues after video.

Video by E!

Casey and Lee

Casey*, 38 lost her best friend, Lee* to cancer two years ago. The pair had been childhood friends, their families were neighbours both sending their children to the same primary and secondary schools in Melbourne.

“Losing Lee was utterly soul destroying. In my situation there was nothing I could do to change the outcome, it was terrifyingly inevitable and to be honest I didn’t know how I would ever manage without her,” Casey told Mamamia.

“I know people say this a lot but we were really like sisters. Neither of us had our own, so we joined each other’s family.”

From eating dinner at each other’s houses multiple times per week, playing together after school for hours and then speaking on the phone after that, the two were inseparable.

“We fought, we made up, we were honest and open with each other and were just ourselves. This continued even when we moved away with our partners to start families, we just had to travel a bit further,” Casey said.

Then in 2017 both Casey and Lee’s worlds turned upside down when Lee discovered she had breast cancer which had metastasised in her liver.

“Discovering that Lee had cancer that could not be cured was utterly devastating. I watched my brave sister fight the fight of her life to try and stay with all of us. But both the disease and the treatments were horrendous on her mind and body and she slowly faded away. Watching her change from who she had always been, to what she was at the end, a shell of herself and knowing that I would never have my best friend back hurt beyond words.”

Although Casey has a loving family and close group of friends she says nothing can replace Lee and there isn’t a day she doesn’t think of her, miss her and imagine what life would be like if she was still here.

Fiona and Katie

Fiona* and her best friend Katie* were best friends throughout high school. They spent most weekends together and spoke every day. But their friendship began to unravel when Fiona moved to another city for university.

“She came to stay with me and suddenly went crazy one night. She was rude and completely horrible to my new flatmates and just turned into a completely different person,” Fiona told Mamamia.

ADVERTISEMENT

“We managed to move past it and it was fine for a few years until I got engaged. Once I told her the news it was like she completely dropped off the face of the earth. She never replied to my messages again. I went from planning for her to be in my bridal party, to not even having her at my wedding.”

Fiona is unsure about why Katie disappeared from her life. She think it’s possible it was jealousy but doesn’t think she will ever know for sure.

“I was upset for years but I don’t miss our friendship anymore, sometimes you just have to move on and not dwell on people like that,” Fiona said.

Although Fiona is at peace with her decision she no longer sees anyone as a best friend.

“I see people as forever friends. I have a group of people in my life that I have been close with for years and no matter how long we go without talking, nothing changes.”

best friend breakup
"I was upset for years but I don’t miss our friendship anymore, sometimes you just have to move on and not dwell on people like that.” Image: Getty.

Anita and Christina

Anita* and her best friend Christina* were the equivalent of Kylie and Jordyn in the real world. They spent all their time together and after Christina went through a horrible breakup with her live-in boyfriend, the pair moved in together.

“I waited for her lease to be up to so that the timing would be good for her financially but only four months in to our year long lease she found a new man and wanted to move in with him. She started staying at his house all the time. Never responding to my texts or answering my calls so it was hard to even work out the housing situation let alone talk about our friendship," Anita told Mamamia. "I was a student at the time, and she just left me with a lot of emotional hurt and financial expenses, so it was really tough."

"Some people are just more invested in friendships, while others invest more in the romantic relationships," Anita said. "But I think women can be their own person, keep their friends, and still be in a great relationship."

Losing Christina as a friend hit hard for Anita. “It was worse than a break up, in some regards because I didn't expect it from a friend that I thought I trusted entirely. When I was chasing up her final bills, she even de-friended me from social media. It was like I meant nothing.”

Shona Hendley, Mother of cats, goats and humans is a freelance writer from Victoria. An ex secondary school teacher, Shona has a strong interest in education. She is an animal lover and advocate, with a morbid fascination for true crime and horror movies. You can follow her on Instagram @shonamarion

00:00 / ???