'We just came back from our family holiday. I have never been more exhausted.'

I just came back from a week's holiday with my husband and son. Nothing but beach, pool and summer selfies. It was lovely to get away and have some real time with the most important men in my life.

Yes, our family is fortunate. I am truly grateful we have the resources to go away, hire an apartment and spend time relaxing at a pool. I am aware that not everyone is so fortunate. 

But can I just be real about what else I am aware it was? 

Exhausting.

Absolutely, utterly exhausting.

And I was the one who planned it.

Watch: Classic mum phrases. Story continues below.

We had the meal schedule, the activity planner, the food sorted, we had time slots for visitors so our little man had other play buddies - I made it as ‘enjoyable’ and ‘stress-free’ as possible.

Sure, it was easier than last year. Going away with a four-year-old, who is more independent and relies on me less and less each year means these trips get a little less intense. 

But it made me realise one thing: My mother was a freaking saint.

Not that we went on many holidays when I was a kid, but when we did, I swear it looked like she was enjoying it. I had no idea that inside she was counting down the hours until she had to prep the next meal, make sure we didn’t leave our clothes and floats at the pool, made sure I had my favourite goggles on hand at all time, all the while organising the days activities and the night’s leisure.

It was like doing a school run five times a day, with the added pressure of looking ‘chillaxed’ in my matching beach dress. All I wanted to do was watch MAFS and drink my Margarita, but when everything was done for the day, this sun-kissed mama was even too tired to enjoy such tabloid fodder.

When I asked my mother about the holidays we had she said, "Oh yes honey it’s stressful. But you kids loved it. You do it for the kids."

And you know what? She’s right. 

I had the most glorious experiences as a kid because my parents were willing to be exhausted zombies with smiles on their faces, spend way too much money on pool floats and ice cream just to ensure we had some good summer fun, and the polaroids to prove it.

We have heard all about the mental load that women carry, and a recent census shows that women are still doing more housework than men. But I didn’t think too much about the ‘holiday load’ that women carry before I become a mother.

You know what I never see on Instagram? 

Pictures of the stressed out parents packing the car with about 12 bags of things they don't actually need, and the various kid meltdowns on the way to the holiday destination. That, I could relate to.

Listen to Mamamia's family podcast This Glorious Mess. Story continues below. 

As I am now the elected events manager, meal planner, vacation-edit guru, family photographer, play buddy, sleep whisperer, packer and un-packer all wrapped up in one person, let’s clarify what my role actually is. 

I was basically the VIP host on a five-day 'kidscation', where I was fortunate enough to feature smiling in some of those images and partake in a few of the toddler activities I arranged. I think it’s time we change the name of the ‘family vacation’ to ‘kids-cation’.

So, the next time we plan our family shindig, I’m putting another activity on the list.

A mum-cation. 

Rachel and her family. Image: Supplied.

That’s right, after the ‘family holiday’ activities have drawn to a close, and we sing ‘Time of Our Lives’ on the way home from the Mantra country club, this Mama gets dropped off at the spa for a night. I’ll take the 'kidscation’ mama special: a hotel room, with a sleep mask, food delivered to my door, where I can enjoy MAFS and my margarita in peace. 

With the added bonus of letting the rest of the family do the unpacking and laundry before I get home.

Now that sounds like a holiday.

Rachel Reva is a toddler mama, writer, publicity strategist and founder of ‘Life On Her Terms Media’. You can find her ramblings on Instagram.

Feature Image: Supplied.

Do you have kids under 9? Take this short survey now to go in the running to win a $50 gift voucher!