Those who live alone happiest, more social
A study of single-dwellers in the United States has revealed what may be a surprising tidbit for those who assumed bliss was tied up in being constantly around people: people who live alone are generally happier. Eric Klinenberg is a professor of sociology at New York University and conducted more than 300 in depth interviews with ‘singletons’ across the States to gauge their satisfaction levels and found them to be remarkably happy – but moreso if they lived in a city. “Living in a city makes it much easier for singletons to get out into the public realm and contribute to the common good,” he says. He found that those living solo are more likely to eat out, exercise, attend extracurricular classes, public events and lectures, and volunteer. After all this socialising, for solo dwellers, nothing could be more appealing than retreating to their exile on main street. As for us, the Australian Bureau of Statistics estimate that by 2031, 3.6 million people will live in lone person households. Klinenberg added:
“The rising status of women has been essential to the change, because their economic independence and personal freedom allowed women to delay marriage or escape failing ones,” he says.
“Then there’s the communications revolution, beginning with the telephone and continuing to Facebook and Skype, because these technologies allow people to be connected even while they’re home alone.
“Urbanisation is a third force, because it created booming subcultures of singles who live alone, together in particular urban neighbourhoods throughout the world. Finally, there’s the longevity revolution, which has made ageing alone a common experience too.”
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Whether you live alone or communally I have found each has its inherent joys and challenges. I live alone and find it joyous though with a good dollop of challenge every now and again.
I feel that peoples living arrangements reflect their stage of life, the choices they have made.......or conversely the economic hardship they are in (which strips choices). Single, defacto, married, aged, just left home and flatting, divorced, in hardship......these all reflect how we are housed (or not housed in the case of the homeless community). And with most phases they are not permanent states, though some are.
I smiled at a comment below in regard to the undesired state of living alone, how this is not what a thirty something woman would want - be aiming for. I smiled because I find 'that thinking' and its corresponding blanket statement places the commenters individual goals, ambitions and abilities in life over others and suggests that we are all striving for the same thing and that we are all perfect in our abilities to navigate life and reach key milestones in the acceptable time frame society deems appropriate - leave school, study, flat and work, find partner move in together. Living with somebody being the ultimate goal and end game.
From my experience we are perfectly imperfect and some of us swim faster and find ourselves in the pool we want and some in the wrong pool but stick it out (eg: staying in a relationship thats not working which houses a significant part of the population). And some of us find ourselves in the deep or shallow end flailing or treading water until we build the courage and strength to lift ourselves out and dive back in and experience what we want.......a life filled with love, travel, passionate work, children whatever floats your boat. My point being that all of these life experiences and our ability to navigate them reflect how we are housed at any one time.
I would just love it if the broader community could shift from looking at 'alone' as requiring some scientific analysis to understand 'why' somebody would choose to do that and see 'together' and 'alone' and the living arrangements that house them as being either choices and the result of those choices, life phases or the direct result of economic hardship. Not everybody is striving for the same thing, while some run at togetherness alot are running from it. And that you can be in a room full of people, in a house crammed with roles and responsibilities and a big partnership sticker and you can feel alone.
Some of us, myself included haven't skipped through life's milestones in the same way and within the acceptable time frames society at large affords before it sneers, sympathises and segregates. That doesn't make me 'alone' it makes me human and on a constant evolution of change as I learn more about myself and courageously experience different parts of life including 'togetherness' maybe a bit later than others though no less significant.
Enough said.
ladybirdcreates - http://thealchemyofhustle.com
It's not in this update but the news I'm feeling ill about is the murder-suicide of the father and his little son in Brisbane yesterday morning. 2 years old. How does this happen? This is the second parent/child murder suicide we've had in Brisbane in not too many months and it is heartbreaking. It makes me furious. There is help out there in so many forms. These children didn't need to die. I suffer from depression and I know mental illness is just that - an illness. But Goddamn it - this little 2 year old should still be alive and happy today, like my 2 year old is.