A man, a woman, another woman and a pregnancy. Help.

Complicated relationships?  We have seen quite a few of them on Mamamia.  This one involves a man, a woman and another woman and her baby….. Sally* writes

“I met a wonderful man about a month ago, and everything has been going really well. Due to our respective work schedules we have not had time to see each other very often, so have only had around six dates, and have therefore not yet had ‘The Couple Talk’. However, it seemed to be implicit in our continued dating that that would be the natural progression of things. He even met my parents last week (after the following bombshell had been dropped – read on).

Now comes the issue for which I require input!

Last week, he cancelled a date with a few hours notice (an industry function for which an expensive ticket had been purchased – by me). We had a conversation via text messages regarding the reason for cancellation, which turned out to be: ‘ “I know we broke up but I’m pregnant” ‘

So, the woman he had been seeing for 4 months, and broke up with a month before he met me, is ‘pregnant’, and now he is understandably freaked out and very confused.

He doesn’t want to be with her, and doesn’t want her to have the baby (of which there is not yet proof of existance), but he wants to do the right thing by her. He wants to keep seeing me, but does not know how to do that, or of he should, or indeed whether he is certain that he wants to. I have offered several times to limit contact with him to give him space, and he says he does not want me to do that.

I don’t want to be Devil’s Advocate, but unfortunately, I have had ‘friends’ in the past who have attempted to trap men by pretending to be pregnant, or being pregnant with another man’s child etc. It happens, and I am concerned that this could be the case. He is suspicious as well, but is a good man and does not want to seem insensitive towards her. And of course, she could just be a genuinely pregnant, frightened young woman.

He works in a stressful job with long hours, and she often calls him away from work, or home with threats of suicide, and frequently drops by his house at all hours with no notice.

So, in summary. I want to support him, and be there for him, and do whatever he needs me to do. I feel like the best course of action is to limit my contact with him for a few weeks to let him get his head around everything. However, firstly I am finding it very difficult to do that, and secondly, there are so many, many implications of this situation both short and long term for all concerned.

Help  – I need advice, to learn from your experiences or even some ideas, it would be so much appreciated!!”