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The 13 things that happen when you get engaged.

Let’s just cut to the chase here.

Getting engaged has nothing to do with the wedding.

Or being in love.

Or spending the rest of your life with someone else.

Or him.

Getting engaged is all about the ring, the story, the planning and everyone in your life wanting a share in the diamond pie.

(Disclaimer: Getting engaged is about spending the rest of your life with someone you love, but it sure doesn’t seem that way when it happens.)

Read more: A wedding celebrant dishes his secrets.

So, here are the 13 things that happen when you get engaged.

1. The realisation.

“Shit, I’m getting married.” It is not about having second thoughts. It is not about not wanting to get married to the person of your dreams. But you will freak out at the idea.

2. Your left hand will never be safe again.

Everyone will lunge for your left hand to examine the ring.

3. You will become a diamond expert.

Not because you've studied diamonds and things like carat, cut and clarity. But because people will ask you things like carat, cut and clarity and when you stare at them blankly they will tell you what they think your ring is. Then the will mentally decide how much it probably cost. In front of you.

Read more: “Why I bought an engagement ring for my husband.”

4. You will swear (in your mind) at your fiance.

"Why didn't the bastard tell me he was proposing so I could get a manicure?"

5. You will look at women's left hands.

Before getting engaged, you never even noticed that women had left hands. Now and in the future, you will look at their left hand before anything else. You will also check out their ring and compare them to yours.

TAP on the image below to scroll through the gallery to see the engagement rings everyone wants right now... Post continues after the gallery.

GALLERY: The engagement rings everyone wants right now.

6. "And you are...?"

You will get inundated with congratulations from people you didn't even know you were related to/friends with/are still alive. They will also ask you when your wedding date is so they can book it into their calendar (because you will obviously be inviting them).

7. The engagement story.

You will say how he "popped the question" two million times. You will seriously consider fluffing it up a bit. More for your benefit of telling something new.

Read more: First time brides, take note from this 2nd time wife.

8. You are a wedding expert.

Within 24 hours of getting engaged you will have booked the date and venue, bought your dress, decided on your bridesmaids, bought their dresses, booked the photographer, videographer, celebrant, written your vows, picked the flowers, had a hair and make up trail and booked the honeymoon. Because that ring comes with special powers of being a wedding expert and organising everything in a short period of time.

9. You will be wrong.

Everyone will have an opinion on the wedding plans you have or haven't made. Just smile and nod.

10. You will only be known as the "engaged person".

Because that is all that anyone will ever talk to you about. You don't have a job. You don't have hobbies. You only have your wedding.

11. You will watch your friends fight it out for the bridesmaid title.

You will wonder whether you should feel honoured that they so badly want to be your bridesmaid... or slightly worried.

Read more: The new wedding trend affecting bridal parties.

12. The money problem will come up.

While in a perfect world you would pay for your wedding without your or his parent's help...you will end up having the awkward conversation about whether they wanted to chip in.

13. It's finally your time to get the presents.

For years you've bought your friends engagement presents and wedding gifts. Now is the time for you. Relish in it.

Do you have any to add to the list?