In 2020, Ellidy Pullin's partner Chumpy died in a tragic accident. Then her friend suggested sperm retrieval.

Ellidy remembers the last time she laid eyes on her partner Alex ‘Chumpy’ Pullin before he died.

"I'd had such a great morning with Chump," she told Mia Freedman on Mamamia’s No Filter podcast. 

"I remember his face and remember him being so happy and so excited to go out and get in the water."

The pair kissed goodbye on their driveway before Chumpy hopped in the car and headed off to his favourite spearfishing spot on the Gold Coast. 

Listen to Ellidy Pullin's full interview with Mia Freedom on No Filter. Post continues after audio. 

About an hour later, the Australian snowboarder and Winter Olympian was pulled from the water after he was found unresponsive by a local snorkeler in July 2020. 

Paramedics performed CPR for 45 minutes but the 32-year-old could not be revived.

For Ellidy, losing her partner of eight years left her in a state of complete "shock".

"I just always felt like this wasn't real and he's just going to walk in the front door and be like, 'Kidding, I'm here.'... The whole thing felt like a bit of a joke, like he just pulled this big prank on us." 

The pair had just moved into their dream home on the Gold Coast and had spent the last year trying to have a baby. 

"We wanted to have babies," Ellidy said on No Filter, who shared the pair were about to start IVF. 

"[Chumpy] was just about to retire… and he was probably just waiting for me to fall pregnant first."

Instead, their future together immediately "went black". 

"I just had so many plans with Chump... we had this entire life together," she recalled. 

"I definitely do remember having this specific moment, I must have grabbed my belly and... I thought I f***ing better be pregnant this month. But [I also thought], 'Oh my God, what? He's just died.' I could definitely not even say that word at that time... So I didn't think about it again, because it was just the craziest time."

The day after Chumpy's death, Ellidy remembers sitting on her back deck with her head buried in her knees, while people gathered at her house. 

That's when her friend came up to her with an idea. 

"He just came and said, 'Hey, I've been talking to [my friend] Chloe, and mum and Laura, and we're talking about sperm retrieval.'" 

The 28-year-old had never heard of it before, but immediately knew she wanted to try. 

"I didn't ask any questions, I didn't need to ask any questions. I just heard the word sperm retrieval... and said 'go and do what you can'."

For Ellidy and those around her, it was all about keeping her options open. 

"We were like we need to think for just one millisecond and we need to make a good decision here because... we've only got now and then what if in a year I do want to make this decision... and we were in so much shock that we didn't go ahead with it when it was offered to us."

But with the clock ticking, they had to find an IVF doctor who could perform the procedure. 

After two doctors declined, she eventually landed on Dr Davidson, who was venturing into new territory but was willing to try. 

Then came the good news. 

In June 2021, Ellidy announced she was pregnant after successfully conceiving through IVF. 

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Ellidy was at home with her mum when the phone rang and she found out the news.  

"I was screaming and I told her. But I knew I was pregnant, I just knew it."

She then told her and Chumpy's dog, Rummi, before calling Chumpy's parents. 

"Everyone was just stoked," she said. 

Looking back, Ellidy said it felt "surreal that I was actually pregnant and he wasn't there". 

Still, she loved being pregnant, even through the moments of worry. 

"I was scared the entire time that there was something wrong with the baby. We kept going to scans and the baby was always measuring small."

"I [thought] I can't lose another person, like this is my one bit of hope."

The day their daughter, Minnie, was born, Ellidy knew giving birth to Chumpy's child wasn't going to bring him back, but it did mean that she "had a piece of him back". 

Reflecting on the birth she said, "I just had this energy feeling of like, wow, the circle of life is happening right before my eyes. His DNA and 50 per cent of him... is just coming out of me.

"And straightaway, I just saw him in her eyes. They've got identical eyes... it is a bizarre euphoric feeling and definitely emotional but the joy 100 per cent outweighs any of it."

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Two years on from Chumpy's death, Ellidy says she can't believe how much she's grown as a person. 

As well as raising Minnie and their dog Rummie, she now co-hosts a podcast and has about to release her book Heartstrong.

"I've just done so much that I never ever would have [thought]."

And while she says she still has moments of sadness - like when she hears a song or "something hits her" - her life is full of joy. 

"I am happy and I sometimes feel really weird saying it because it doesn't feel right sometimes... and I feel a bit guilty about it because I'm like, oh my God Chumps's not here, how can I be so happy right now? And then feel guilty about Minnie because she's my beautiful baby and I don't want to not be happy. I want to give her so much love and energy and happiness."

While their future together didn't pan out the way they expected, Ellidy says she knows in her gut that Chumpy is around her. 

"I see him in my daughter, I know he's everywhere. And I'm not saying I feel him all around me all the time, I definitely feel alone sometimes...  I don't think he's here at all. But I think spiritually and energetically, sometimes I do believe and feel 100 per cent genuinely that he is around me."

Listen to Ellidy Pullin's conversation with Mia Freedman on No Filter. They speak about Ellidy and Chumpy’s extraordinary love story, Ellidy giving birth to daughter Minnie 15 months after Chumpy's passing and life after death. For more episodes of No Filter with Mia Freedman, go to mamamia.com.au/podcasts/no-filter.

Heartstrong by Ellidy Pullin is out now. 

Feature Image: Supplied.

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