'It costs more to be a woman.' An actual breakdown of my spending vs my boyfriend's.

My boyfriend and I broke down our spending for the weekend and what became glaringly obvious was that it is more expensive to be a woman. It isn’t just that getting a haircut and razors cost more, life is just more expensive if you’re a woman that conforms to some basic beauty standards.

I hate this reality because, on the surface, it just looks like I spend more because I’m living more frivolously. However, the truth is that my life simply costs more. This reinforces the idea that women are bad with money. I swear I’m not. It’s just way more expensive for me to live my life.

I’m also very aware of my privilege here. I’m a middle-income earner who can afford to live in Sydney. I’ll probably never own a home, but I can afford to rent one with air conditioning. But the fact that my weekly outgoings are higher purely because I prefer to buy pink razors instead of blue and I feel the pressure to be hairless.

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Let’s start with the general facts.

• I have shorter hair than my boyfriend, but my hair cut costs around $120 and his haircut, including a beard trim and shave, costs around $70.
• The pink razors I buy cost $16, the boring-coloured razors my boyfriend buys cost $10.
• My deodorant costs $10, and my boyfriend’s deodorant costs $6.80.
• The shampoo and conditioner I buy cost me $40, and the shampoo and conditioner my boyfriend buys cost him $12.

But what compounds the problem is all the extra costs associated with being a woman. So let me breakdown my weekend so the differences in our spending can also mortify you. 

I’m obviously very aware I’m living a very privileged life, but these are costs that so many women bear the brunt of and I think it is fair enough we have these conversations.

Saturday.

• We head to breakfast together. I am bloated and I feel like my endometriosis gets worse when I mix it with full-cream milk. So, I pay the extra 50 cents for soy milk in my coffee, and we both get a halloumi stack. I pay and it costs $60.50 cents. 
• I head off to get my eyebrows done, tinted and shaped - $60.
• My boyfriend has never had his eyebrows done, tinted or shaped, so he spends $0 and takes our dog for a walk. 
• I also get my fringe cut which costs $22.
• I follow this up by getting my nails done - $30.
• We skip lunch because of breakfast and go to the pub, my boyfriend shouts but it costs $70.

Tally for the day.

My boyfriend: $70.

Me: $172.50.

Sunday.

• I need to refill my pill script which costs around $30.
• No surprises here but there’s no contraception my boyfriend is on $0 for him. 
• We have breakfast at home, and I head to a girls' lunch which costs me $50.
• My boyfriend heads out to catch up with mates costs him $30.
• I get my legs waxed and my underarms and it costs me $60 (I could shave, but I get that awful razor rash that stings).
• I then stop at the grocery store on the way home and grab steak and salad, however we split the cost so $30 each. 

Tally for the day.

My boyfriend spends $60.

I spend $150.

Of course, we’ve all heard of this before; it’s the ‘pink tax’, the extra amount women pay to have pink razors instead of blue. But it goes far beyond razors. It extends beyond the fact that it costs more to get my hair done or that studies have shown that women are less likely to get a good deal on car insurance than men. Annoyingly, sexism seeps into every aspect of my financial life. Naturally, this is all compounded by the gender pay gap, where I am statistically likely to earn 13.8 per cent less than my boyfriend. So, it costs more to be a woman, but your pay is less if you are a woman.

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The frustrating thing is that this is so normal that I didn’t even realise how much more I was spending until my boyfriend and I compared our outgoings and incomings. I think it is important to acknowledge all the extras I spend trying to feel attractive in our patriarchal society, from getting my legs and underarms waxed to getting my eyebrows done to treat myself to a pedicure. These are all services my boyfriend doesn’t have to use, and they all cost money. Of course, I could forgo these things, but I think it just drives home my point. It costs more to be a woman.

Breaking down our weekend expenses really drove home the point. I spend a lot of extra money on myself to feel better about myself and to feel acceptable in society. Now, yes I could cut back but it’s worth noting my boyfriend doesn’t feel like he needs to spend this amount on grooming to feel attractive.

I am glad my boyfriend and I made this discovery because at least now he understands it costs more to be me. I am not worse with money than he is, but we live in a society that short-changes women and rewards men. I wish I could offer a money hack here, or at least some clever advice but all I can suggest is that the next time you sit down to budget with your male partner, make sure you factor in the gender pay gap and the fact that it really does cost more to be a woman.

Feature Image: Supplied.