It wasn’t just her husband that left when this family broke apart…
Four years ago I was a typical Facebook Mum. Happily married (so I thought) with a bumbling joyful three-year-old boy and a 10-month-old daughter.
Then I fell pregnant with our third child and my world shattered.
My husband didn’t want a third baby. He wanted our life back. He wanted the baby phase to end and his wife to be back to the woman who used to meet him for lunch, and early morning swims, who used to talk about movies and plan holidays in locations that didn’t involve a kid’s club.
He wanted me, not another child.
And so he left.
They were dark desperate days. No one quite understands the anguish of having your world destroyed. It's difficult to move on and yet we did.
Four years on I survived.
My kids’ are thriving, happily settled in this new version of our life. It's tough at times as a single mother but you just get on with it. I have my children's love, and a life for myself.
But what I don’t have are my old friends – because it wasn’t just my husband who left me it was my mother’s group too.
It’s an odd system: how you are assigned a mother’s group in your area – all through the local baby health unit who link up new mothers with similar aged babies.
Our mother's group had shared interests – our babies, and similar lifestyles geographically. We were from different cultures and our histories were diverse but we were all new mothers, all married and all were planning baby number two.
There were tears and laughter, shared tales of stitches and pain relief. We grew close over bottles and breastfeeding, over tussles with tantruming toddlers and sleepless nights, over marital fights and our desires (or lack of) for sex.
We became friends, over three years, and through each of our second born children we met up weekly.
When I told them my husband left they were sympathetic and kind. I know that they tried and I know what happened next wasn’t malicious or nasty it was simply thoughtless.