Funerals should be a time for mourning, a situation where relatives of the departed are on their best behaviour — no matter what their grievances were when they were alive.
Well, it seems that isn’t always the reality.
From greedy cousins putting dibs on the deceased’s house, to brothers condemning them to hell, these Reddit users described the most disrespectful things they have ever witnessed at a funeral.
1. Bringing up unrelated issues.
There’s never a great time to discuss your relationship issues, but at a funeral is probably the worst moment as a friend of one person discovered.
“(A) friend of mine’s father died. At the funeral, his girlfriend decided it was a good time to discuss all the problems she had with their relationship,” Riddbg-j38 wrote.
“I was right there when he said, ‘I’m burying my father. You need to leave.’ They broke up a few days later.”
2. Not respecting religious differences.
Redditor Labiologie described very odd behaviour he observed when his mum's boyfriend, an atheist, died recently.
The rest of his family were Baptists and the deceased's brother was not going to beat around the bush about where he believed his brother's spirit had ended up.
"His brother stood up to give the eulogy and said, 'I fully believe in my heart [mum's boyfriend] is now in Hell,'" Labiologie wrote.
On top of this, the family had not respected his beliefs with "gospel music" playing before and after a sermon was given.
3. Trying to take the deceased's property.
Bad behaviour isn't just limited to the funeral. Redditor Sgt_Grumble said before his grandfather's service his cousin "went into his house, put sticky notes on all the things she and her husband wanted".
St_Grumble said she also "asked her mum and uncles to give her the house... more than once" and tried to sell her homemade wares to relatives who were in town for the funeral.
"Showed up an hour late to the lunch after the memorial service and then acted pissed that nobody had saved seats for her and her husband."
That cousin may have asked for the house, but a relative of TheMightyGoatMan took most his mother's possessions instead of attending the funeral.
"The rest of the family came back to the house to find it completely stripped by workers from his auction house. No member of the family ever saw him again," they wrote.
4. Making a scene.
There are people who simply can't resist making the day about themselves and their grief.
"My stepfather was married to my mum for 18 years. At his funeral his ex-wife pushed my mum back into her seat so she could follow his coffin out of the church (traditionally the widow does this)," Redditor Thouvs described.
"As if that wasn't bad enough, when the coffin was being lowered into the grave, it had been raining all morning so the graveside was just mud.
"She (the ex-wife) was kneeling in the mud wailing, loudly, the whole time.
"She was wearing what I can only describe as a long black satin nightdress. It was embarrassing and horrifying at the same time.
"My poor mother a mess the whole time (my stepfather had drowned so it was all very sudden) and just stood there not knowing what to do."
5. Laughing at an inappropriate time.
Most people are trying to hold back tears at a funeral, but this Redditor confessed they were battling to hold in laughter during their grandfather's funeral.
C2H5OHic confessed they found the priest's voice so hilarious they nearly ruined a meaningful moment.
"You know how priests usually have a really deep and loud voice ? Well this one had a really high pitched voice and a lisp so as soon as I heard him speak I almost burst out laughing," they wrote.
"My face got all red from containing that laughter so I had to excuse myself and leave the church. (I tried to make it seem like I was crying).
"I think/hope nobody noticed because in retrospect that was pretty disrespectful (especially since that was the only time I saw my father close to crying)."
Robin Bailey discusses dealing with grief on The Well.
Redditor Penquinsrule83 had a similar experience, but couldn't quite contain their laughter.
"I went to a friend's funeral a few years back. This guy was very loved by many. He ran a biker bar, and was the Chaplain at a prison. He was also a really small guy," they wrote.
"Well... as the service was ending, I looked up towards the pulpit as the preacher was saying a few kind words. I saw my buddy's Bikers For Jesus vest. His tiny little vest, above his tiny little boots.
"I couldn't contain my laughter. My friends family bore holes through me with thier glares. I skipped the after party at the bar."
6. Ignoring the people who meant the most.
Perhaps the most disrespectful of all is when family members ignore their dead relative's loved ones. Lacedaisy said her grandma was barely mentioned at the funeral of her long-term partner.
"My grandma's partner of over a decade died after a long struggle with dementia and diabetes. She cared for him until she couldn't manage anymore. She babysat for his little granddaughter several times a week," Lacedaisy wrote.
"His daughter and her husband - who didn't do any of the caring for him - didn't involve her in the funeral planning whatsoever.
"My grandma was only mentioned in the daughter's speech in a throwaway line - "and also, thank you [grandma] for looking after [little granddaughter] sometimes." We were all quietly outraged for her."
What's the most disrespectful thing you've seen at a funeral?
Top Comments
At a friends funeral (open casket) a cousin of the deceased came so drunk he could barely stand. He sat thru the service fine but at the gathering afterward he started telling everyone in a really loud voice how much he wanted to bang his cousin (the deceased) keepin it in the family amirite? Her family asked him repeatedly to leave but he kept commenting on the size of her breasts, her ample booty etc. My friends father finally told him If he didnt leave he was going to call the police. Police were called, drunk gross dude got escorted out. No one in the family has talked to him since.
An estranged granddaughter taking flowers from the coffin of her grandmother. She hadn’t spoken to her in over a decade. The fallout was severe and the flowers were returned.