How to conquer dirty talk without feeling totally, completely awkward.

Lady in the streets, hornbag in the sheets, and like any true-to-form Gemini it’s all about communication for me and ALL THE WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

And I do mean all. 

I’m talking about *dirty talk*. The spiciest way to turn up the dial on your sex life.

“To put it simply, dirty talk is any kind of language that you’re using during sex,” sex and relationships coach Georgia Grace told Mamamia. 

Watch: Let's talk about sex, baby. Post continues after video.

“For some people, that might be really explicit about what they're wanting to do to their partner or how they want to be touched, or it may involve more of a roleplay situation – so some people may want to be called 'mummy' or 'daddy' or another kind of name.

“Then there are a few different subsets, like praise kink, which is telling someone how amazing they are, how good they are and how much you appreciate them, and just making them feel really good about themselves through compliments.”

But while I’m a top fan, I get that dirty talk can be a little bit awkward. 

“A lot of people are really curious about bringing dirty talk into their sexual experiences but one of the main reasons they don't is because it can feel clunky and weird,” Georgia explained. “Especially if they're going from speaking with their partner about paying bills and what they're going to have for dinner, and then they get into bed and want to be called a ‘dirty little slut’.

“It can feel like a really big shift in the relationship dynamic.”

But I assure you (cross my heart and hope to die) that if you can get past that awkward stage then HOLD ON TIGHT because once you start speaking up, you won’t be able to stop!

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“From it being really hot, fun, sexy and exciting, to helping build arousal in your body, there are so many benefits to talking dirty,” said Georgia.

“It can add novelty and newness to your sexual experience, make you feel more connected to your own body and your partner’s, help you explore power dynamics, and best of all – according to me – support you in fulfilling a fantasy that you've always had.”

So, how do you get started?

1. Talk to your partner.

“First up, I would always recommend having the conversation – and having the conversation outside of a sexual experience,” Georgia said. “Because if you've never done dirty talk before and then you just throw out quite a graphic sentence, it might be overwhelming for your partner and it may turn them off and even be quite startling to their own sexual experience.

“Maybe you could say something along the lines of, ‘I'm curious about exploring some new things while we're having sex and I've always wanted to try dirty talk, how do you feel about that?’”

Listen to the hosts of Mamamia Out Loud discuss the details of Gwyneth's sex life. Post continues after podcast.

2. Send a cheeky text.

“A lot of people like to build their way up to it,” explained Georgia “So that might mean making it feel slightly more accessible to you and starting by sending a cheeky text and knowing that they’re not there in the moment and they don't have to respond straightaway, but you're just kind of exploring this new dynamic.”

3. Play with your words.

“Then when you’re having sex, you could describe what you want or how you're feeling or what you really love about your partner, and then kind of build the intensity from there,” the sex and relationships coach said.

“For the majority of people, it's more pleasurable and exciting if you take more time to build arousal and excitement. So instead of jumping in straightaway, take your time to play with your words, explore what's landing, and then build the intensity as the arousal in your body builds as well.”

4. Don’t make a joke about it. (Or do!)

“Sometimes it is awkward and sometimes it is a bit funny, so for some people, making a joke will work – like bringing the playfulness to it, knowing that they’re humans and knowing that they can laugh and have fun,” said Georgia.

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“But for others, and I see this in session all the time, if their partner is laughing while they're trying to be sexy, it can really hurt. So what we need to do is know that laughter is a human response and sometimes we laugh and sometimes things are awkward and funny, and just understand that if your partner does laugh during dirty talk, maybe it says more about them and how they’re feeling than about you and what you're trying to do.”

5. Just give it a go.

“Often with awkwardness, what we need to do is we just need to try,” Georgia urged. “I see it all the time in session too, like they think it’s going to be this thing that’s really awkward and uncomfortable and then they get here and they're talking about sex and after a few minutes, it just feels normal.

“So you just need to get past that learning edge and that fear of awkwardness, allow yourself to be a bit clunky and a bit uncomfortable, and know that, ‘Oh okay, actually I'm surviving this and I’ve learnt a bit about my sexuality.’

“If it's something you're curious about, it's like any new skill and you can certainly learn how to do it in a way that feels fun and sexy for you. So often the antidote to awkwardness is just to give it a go.”

Image: Getty + Mamamia.