HOLLY WAINWRIGHT: Why we all need to write a D**khead List.

So, I wrote a dickhead list. 

I was inspired by Kasey Chambers (yes, that Kasey Chambers), who has just published a book called Just Don't Be A Dickhead, And Other Profound Things I've Learned, and it's a sort of memoir, sort of book of little lessons, with songs from her new album Backbone scattered throughout. It's a very smart book, very un-d**kheady.

I interviewed Kasey for the podcast MID (it's conversations for Gen X women who are anything but, and you should totally listen).

Listen: Kasey Chambers Keeps A D*ckhead List. Post continues after podcast.

Kasey says she knows she's being a dickhead when she doesn't listen to her gut, or the instinct she calls her inner foghorn, which always seems to know when something isn't right or when she's selling herself short.

Other items on Kasey's list include:

Convince myself that it's not okay to look my age.

Think that being strong means being an arsehole.

And:

Get my eyebrow pierced in a dodgy backyard place in Western NSW and leave it in until it goes all red and pus starts coming out…

Inspired by the conversation that veered all over the place between parenting and divorce and rock 'n' roll and ageing and beauty and… life, I wrote my own dickhead list, and I suggest you do the same.

It's a reminder of how much we've learned and the instinct that's actually just the result hard fought experience that often, it's easy to lose confidence in.

So. I'm Being A Dickhead When I… 

• Don't listen. Just wait to talk.

• Stare in the mirror until all my problems are about my jowls 

• Forget that my children aren't me

• Refuse to look at my bank balance

• Get too comfy on my high horse

• Open the clean dishwasher, take out a fork, close clean dishwasher

• Overcommit, and do a half-arsed job

• Mentally blame other people for my half-arsed job

• Indulge in the 'poor me' wallowing that overcommitting inevitably leads to.

Watch: What is the most surprising symptom of perimenopause?

All that to say: Don't just grow a pair and say No, thanks.

I'm being a dickhead when I…

• Forget my mood affects others.

• Forget to change my HRT patch (see above).

• Forget my keep cup

• Forget I have choices

• Forget how long it takes to do… absolutely everything

I'm being a dickhead when I…• Try to bake and blame the recipe for the inevitable inedible tin of shit

• Judge books by their covers. And when I say books, I mean people, and when I say covers, I mean appearance and when I say judge, I mean judge.

When I…

• Don't admit I was wrong

• Don't pack snacks

• Don't call my mum

• Don't let the truth get in the way of an easy opinion

• Don't check the weather (I never check the weather)

I'm being a dickhead when I…

• Am cruellest to those closest

• Have two wines and start the lecture

• Start confusing other people's lives, choices, achievements as a commentary on my own

• Start carrying salt sachets in my purse.

• Buy a size too small

• Get way too much enjoyment from listing all my faults.

Feature Image: @wainwrightholly Instagram.