Unpopular opinion: Why I like dick pics.

Warning: this article contains images of male genitalia. 

Last week Whitney Bell launched an art show in LA featuring her vast collection of unsolicited dick pics displayed in a loving traditional context with gold frames. Her collection “I Didn’t Ask For This: A Lifetime of Dick Pics” intends to expose dick pics for the harassing unwanted nuisance they are, she says.

“This isn’t dick-hating or man-hating. I love a good dick,” she says. “I just don’t love harassment. All the photos were unsolicited. It’s not about sex. It’s about power. It’s about these guys wanting to exert that control. They get off knowing that they forced some girl to see it. They know that girl is not going to turn around and say, “Let’s go on a date.”

I just can’t agree with this. I think a lot of Australian women DO like dick pics, DO use them to select a lover and DO wish to go on a date once they have seen an attractive asset. A lot of us have smart phones crammed with dick pics, and like a lot of women I have benefited greatly from dick pics. They are both a source of entertainment and also extremely useful in sorting through potential lovers online.

Check out some accidental vaginas. Post continues after video.

I think anyone who uses online dating, as I did for almost 20 years, has to expect a certain level of familiarity. We are not courting within an Austenian context. We are scanning online for a lover who might live close to us and is hopefully both attractive and interesting. I met a lot of boyfriends and my husband online, and the dick pic was and still is a great way to get to know men.

Just as men like photos of women naked, straight women (and gay men) like seeing pictures of dicks. It’s interesting, educational and it helps sort through the dross when searching for a partner. We’ve moved well beyond the male gaze of the 80’s into the realm of internet dating where photos really REALLY matter. It’s not harassment, it’s essential viewing.

The best purpose of the dick pic is to prevent the excruciating  “micropenis” situation where, after days or hours of online and offline contact, the man unrobes. And the lady is not happy with what she sees. At all. This is the guy who did NOT send a dick pic, and the reason is suddenly all too clear. The lady then has to hurriedly concoct an excuse to flee from the room. It could all be avoided with a dick pic.

When selecting a lover, it’s very much caveat emptor. The pic helps not just with size, but also with other penis qualities. Size is the most obvious, but width, colour, texture, shape and appearance of the head and ridge are all considerations.

Many men claim their penis is eight inches, cut and thick but the photo reveals if this is accurate, and also how he grooms himself, the appearance and color of the glands, if it’s curved or straight and his bedroom or bathroom quality: all features a women likes to assess. The complaints we hear from women such as “too small”, “too bumpy”, “small head” or even “too large” could easily be avoided if more of us used dick pics.

Female pleasure relies heavily not just on technique, which is an unknown while chatting online, but also on the width, length, and shape of the penis head. Pictures really help us choose the right penis for us. If you don’t like it there’s advice online on what to do. Or you could use a quote from a famous author responding to unsolicited dick pics. Most women and gay men appreciate and enjoy their dick pics.

Women hold all the power when it comes to photos. Guys have far lower standards when selecting a partner online because there are fewer women searching for sex and because female market value is exponentially higher than a male’s. And because they’re thrilled with anything really. So we can be very selective. And the dick pic is an excellent way to discriminate. Men are putting their assets on the table and are vulnerable to rejection in a way a woman rarely is.

Whitney says she wants to shame men who send unsolicited dick pics. She advises we send back a picture of a better looking dick. I just disagree. We need to celebrate sexuality, like professional penis photographer Soraya Doolbaz, who dresses penises in cute costumes as a fun way to honour dicks.

“Women want to laugh, so I think having a costume or character added to the dick pic takes the vulgarity away,” she said. Her collection features pensis dressed as Kanye West, Donald Trump and historical figures like Cumrad Stalin and Saddong Hussein, as well as tee shirts and merchandise of trussed up pensis available on her Dicture Gallery site.

Humour and grace are the best way to treat a dick pic, and gratitude. Because many dick pics make us feel blessed to be a women in 2016.