We’ve heard it before: “Breast is best.”
That might indeed be the case, but television host Deborah Knight wants women to know that doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy.
In a post she wrote for Nine Honey, the Channel Nine newsreader admits she had immense struggles breastfeeding her two elder children — struggles that took an emotional and physical toll, and that most new mothers experience.
“Despite what the pamphlets promoting breastfeeding lead us to believe – with the angelic newborn gently feeding from a blissfully adoring Mother – this seemingly natural and simple task is for the majority of women really hard work,” Knight wrote.
“One lactation consultant told me that around that 80% of women experience difficulty while trying to establish breastfeeding. Why aren’t we told that in the pre-natal classes or the maternity ward?”
Deborah Knight says attempts to breastfeed her two eldest children were "disasters". Image: Instagram.
While Knight is still breastfeeding her youngest child Audrey, who is nine months, the 43-year-old described her first two attempts at breastfeeding as complete "disasters".
With her eldest, Darcy, it was three months of cracked, grazed nipples, lactation consultants, baby massage and more.
"It was only when a midwife told me through my tears that if the breastfeeding wasn’t working, don’t do it. I finally felt like I had permission to use a bottle and baby formula instead," she wrote.
Latching came easier with Elsa - her second child - but the pain persisted, and she only managed four months before switching entirely to the bottle.
While she acknowledges breast milk is the optimum choice for baby's health - and for convenience - Knight thinks the alternative lands the mother with an unnecessary burden.
"New mums take on guilt easily, especially when you fail at something as seemingly natural as breastfeeding," she wrote.
That, she believes, is something that needs to end.
"Let’s stop the guilt, and tell it like it is," wrote Knight.
"I believe there needs to be more honesty from the experts associated with newborn care about what a trial breastfeeding can be."
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A fed baby is a happy baby - however you do it. I was bottle fed and I turned out just fine. There are women who just can't breastfeed, and plenty of reasons why breastfeeding just does not work out. But the real truth about breastfeeding is something it's hard to say, and people don't like it. Breastfeeding is time consuming - It can take a long time for each feed (my first would feed for 1 and a half hours) and they want feeding every two hours in the first few weeks, that is from the start of each feed - so if you are feeding for an hour and a half, you get half and hour in between feeds! 2nd and subsequent babies feed faster (your breasts get more efficient). It might take an hour, or half an hour. And they need feeding round the clock for the first few weeks, then it settles down. But different babies are different. Still, babies need lots of feeds, for long times. This is exhausting. You can get stabbing pains when the milk "comes in" or "lets down", which sometimes go away or sometimes don't. When your uterus is contracting after birth, it hurts alot when you are breastfeeding - and after each birth, your uterus contracts quicker, and more painfully, while you are breastfeeding. But number 3, the pains while my uterus were contracting when I was feeding were worse that the labour pains - and lasted for three days, but after that it was gone. If you did not know about this, you might be giving up breastfeeding immediately, and miss out! Sometimes I got mastitis with number 2, it was excruciating, especially feeding her on the infected side, but once it was over, it was all fine. Occasionally I had a baby bite me, especially just before bed when she was overtired by hungry - I had to keep putting her in the cot and trying again in a few minutes. Sore nipples with blisters for the first baby, not so bad with the second, but that was only for the first little while. I fed my first baby till 18 months, 2nd till 2 and a half years, 3rd till just over 2, number 4 is still going at 3 (he still wants it, and being the last, it's going to be emotional when we finish - end of an era!). Breastfeeding is a major time commitment (especially if you express - I never got the hang of it), and there can be very painful times with sore nipples, blisters, mastitis (which needs urgent medical attention), occasional biting, babies that "scrape off" with their teeth... these things make it hard, but overall it was worth it because you can breastfeed anywhere, anytime, if they don't want it, you haven't wasted a bottle. My mum bottle fed us (twins and she had a toddler to take care of too), and the midwife said she's never bond with us. I would LOVE to see that midwife and tell her how much we adore our mother! She is amazing and has only ever done the best for us - which included bottle feeding. So, however you chose to feed your baby, they will turn out fine and dandy! But I just needed to put out there that breastfeeding is hard work and if people have a realistic view of it (rather than, "it's natural and will happen so easily", which might be true for some people, but not everyone!). You need support, emotional and practical, to be able to do it. We have to go it alone so often in our culture, no "village" to help us. We have to keep the house running (washing, cleaning, cooking), take care of other kids, plus ourselves, plus any work outside the home - if you are lucky, you have a supportive partner, but it's still a massive job with a new baby (actually, any kids!). Having parents, grandparents, aunties and uncles or siblings around to help - not everyone has people around to help. The general attitude of our culture is to be self-contained and take care of yourself. It is nice if you have people you trust to help you (not to make your emotional or physical burden bigger, like some people do!). So best wishes whatever your choice, and enjoy your baby. They really do grow up fast!
This is a great post. I was able to breastfeed because I had a lot of support. Without the help of an amazing lactation consultant, a very supportive husband and a very supportive Mum and Sister I would have absolutely struggled. You really did highlight he struggles of breastfeeding and I agree without. Bottle or breast are both great depending on your circumstances.
Thanks for your comment! I hope it helps some people. Babies a precious things, hark work but worth it!
15% of women make it to 6 months?
That's a terrible statistic and needs improving.
I think that is "exclusively" breastfed, so could mean they have started solids, it doesn't actually mean 85% of mothers do not breastfeed at 6 months. (They recommend now starting solids at 4 months if baby shows signs of interest.)