A video that is helping raise awareness about violence toward women has been viewed over 250 million times.
Presented as a letter from an unborn daughter to her father, the girl asks her dad to ensure that being born female “won’t stay the greatest danger of all”.
“We had all kinds of reactions, mostly positive, but some men felt threatened by the video,” said Hilde Vanvik from CARE Norway.
Some critics say the video “turned all men into rapists”, and some women felt women were portrayed as their father’s property.
Despite the critics, Vanvik says countless emotional stories have been shared with CARE because of the video – which was made in an effort to end violence toward women. Read the transcription below:
Dear Daddy,
I just wanted to thank you for looking after me so well, even though I’m not yet born. I know you already try harder than Superman, you won’t even let Mummy eat sushi. But I need to ask you a favour.
Warning: It’s about boys.
Because, you see, I will be born a girl, which means that by the time I’m 14, the boys in my class will have called me a “whore,” a “bitch,” a “cunt,” and many other things. It’s just for fun, of course, something boys do, so you won’t worry, and I understand that. Perhaps you did the same when you were young, trying to impress some of the other boys. I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it.
Still, some of the people won’t get the joke, and funnily enough, it isn’t any of the girls. It’s some of the boys.
So by the time I turn 16, a couple of the boys will have snuck their hands down my pants while I’m so drunk I can’t even stand straight. And although I say “no,” they just laugh. It’s funny, right?
If you saw me, Daddy, you would be so ashamed, because I’m wasted. No wonder I’m raped when I’m 21 – 21, and on my way home in a taxi driven by the son of a guy you went swimming with every Wednesday. The guy who always told insulting jokes, but they were, of course, only jokes, so you laughed. Had you known that his son would end up raping me, you would’ve told him to get a grip, but how could you know? He was just a boy, telling weird jokes, and in any case it wasn’t your business. You were just being nice. But his son, raised on these jokes, becomes my business.
Then, finally, I meet Mr Perfect, and you’re so happy for me, Daddy, because he really adores me. And he’s smart with a great job, and all through the winter, he goes cross-country skiing three times a week just like you. But one day he stops being Mr Perfect, and I don’t know why.
Wait. Am I overreacting? One thing I do know, I’m not the victim type. I’m raised to be a strong and independent woman. But one night it’s just all too much for him. With work, and the in-laws, and the wedding coming up, so he calls me a whore, just like you called a girl in middle school a whore once. Then, another day, he hits me. I mean, I’m way out of line, I can really be a bitch sometimes, but we’re still the world’s greatest couple and I’m so confused because I love him and I hate him and I’m not sure if I really did do something wrong, and then one day, he almost kills me. It all goes black. Even though I have a Ph D, a fantastic job, I’m loved by my friends and family, I’m well-brought-up, and nobody saw this coming.
Dear Daddy, this is the favour I want to ask. One thing always leads to another, so please stop it before it gets the chance to begin. Don’t let my brothers call girls whores, because they’re not, and one day some little boy might think it’s true. Don’t accept insulting jokes from weird guys by the pool, or even friends, because behind every joke there’s always some truth.
Dear Daddy, I know you will protect me from lions, tigers, guns, cars, and even sushi without even thinking about the danger to your own life.
But Dear Daddy, I will be born a girl, please do everything you can so that that won’t stay the greatest danger of all.
Video courtesy of CARE Norway.
Top Comments
It looks like a video made by third wave feminists for other third wave feminists and will probably not appeal to anyone else because people outside that group will find it hard to relate to, Women and girls aren't weak nor are they eternal victims that need special protection from men/boys because they're unable to stand on their own in the real world.
That wasn't the point of the video. It says, "I'm not the victim type. I'm raised to be a strong and independent woman." It is trying to change men's viewpoints of women; that small things - jokes, disrespect, etc. - can lead to violence against women if they go unchecked.
She is portrayed as a victim by birth because of her gender and that there is nothing that she can do about it. The rest of the video is an appeal/plead to a higher/stronger authority, i.e. ‘Daddy’, for help because of her gender, she is helpless. It’s infantilising girls and women.
Females are automatically victims in our current society, in the eyes of some men. That is the point of the ad - that men who think that way need to change their thinking. It's from a child's point of view to appeal to her future father, who could be a man who does think of women as inferior. He's asked to consider his own potential daughter, and if it is right for him to think of other women as inferior if another man could have the same thoughts about his daughter.