Where are all the happy parents? Not on social media, clearly.

Sometimes I wonder, ‘where are all the happy parents?’

Where are the mothers not worried about strangers criticising their post-baby bodies (or as I like to call them: ‘bodies’)?

Where are the parents who happily drop their kids at the skate park with instructions to be home in an hour? Who sometimes give their kids Weet-Bix for dinner and don’t give it a second thought.

Where are the mothers and fathers who take their toddlers to daycare and buy them toy swords and give them juice in plastic cups without being racked with worry, guilt and shame?

I’ll tell you where those parents are: they are not online.

They’re out and about, talking to friends and neighbours and workmates. If something is worrying them, they’ll talk about it before they tweet about it.

I’m not online as much as I used to be, not because of bullying or boredom, but because I’m tired of having the bejesus scared out of me in the name of ‘awareness’. It’s getting me down.

Here’s an example: a few weeks ago, my Facebook feed was flowing nicely when it hit this boulder, shared by a friend of mine:

PARENTS!!!! PLEASE SHARE!!!!! There was an attempted abduction at a local shopping centre today when a man approached a seven-year-old boy who was minding his mother’s trolley. The man offered the boy sweets which he refused before alerting a nearby shop attendant. Police are investigating.

Now, I’m not saying what happened wasn’t alarming, BLOODY HELL! But I’m not sure what I was meant to do with that information. Because there wasn’t any information. It was just a scary story. A man in a white van, but on foot, in the shops. There was no description, no detail – because there wasn’t any, and ultimately, that kid did EXACTLY the right thing. If anything, that should have been the story shared. Massive props to that kids’ parents and teachers for telling him what to do in that situation, and congratulations to him for doing it.

I didn’t share that post on social media because I thought, what possible good would it do?

Do my friends in England who have little kids need to be reminded there are dangerous predators the world over? No, they KNOW. We all do. And spreading the bad news just adds to our fear and our feeling of powerlessness and it makes us feel the world is worse than it is.

It’s easy to blame ‘the media’ but with Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, WE ARE THE MEDIA. We pile fuel onto the fire of fear every time we share something that does nothing but scare the bejesus out of our ‘friends’. It’s so simple it’s almost fun – no way would we drive to their houses to warn them of a flasher at the station, we wouldn’t even bother with a call, but click ‘share’? Nothing easier. Or more guaranteed to get a reaction.

It’s different, of course, if there is useful information that needs to be shared – a photograph of a missing person, a dangerous weather alert, a gunman on the loose in my street. Thanks for the warning, I’ll lock the door.

I’m happy to share a call-out for a lost dog or a great new organisation helping women in abusive relationships. But unless there’s something I can do, or information I can use, I don’t want to know.

I’m chock full of awareness. I’m too aware that the world is dangerous. That kids are abducted and wives are murdered by their husbands. I know I can get cancer of my everything and that the planet is baking and Diet Coke is the Devil’s beverage of choice. But it’s hard to care when you’re overwhelmed, so I’m switching off, bit by bit.

It might be just me, though.

When I talked to my friend Anna about the Facebook creep alert, she said, ‘Oh God, I shared that! I mean, that’s just up the road!’

‘But don’t you already know that stuff happens?’ I asked, ‘And your kids are little – you wouldn’t leave them at the shops anyway? Didn’t it just make you more frightened?’

‘Yes,’ she said, ‘But I don’t think it hurts to be reminded.’

I think it does hurt. And of course being hurt keeps us alert, but being so scared all the time is making life less enjoyable – you can’t have fun when you’re afraid.

I’m interested to know what happened to the Malaysian plane but endless amateur theorising is pointless and upsetting (and if I’m upset, think about the families). I kind of expect it from the news sites – that’s their job and I can choose to follow or not, but friends don’t let friends lie awake worrying about exploding mangosteens.

Some people get cranky about their Facebook feed being full of cat videos and holiday snaps. I say, bring ’em on. And I don’t even like cats! I’m just over the warnings, the alerts and the outrage.

I’m thinking there’s a lot to be said for taking in information on a need-to-know basis. Reading, seeing and hearing everything doesn’t necessarily make us better informed, but it can certainly make unhappy.

And if I know one thing for sure, scared unhappy adults produce frightened, anxious kids. So, maybe while we’re flipping out about what kids are seeing online, maybe we should take a second and fit our own oxygen masks first.

Does what you read on social media make you scared?