However, when you are in the relationship it’s not nearly as easy. Normally we don’t go into a situation analysing every single part of our partner’s behavior.
No, because instead we are getting excited when they call us and jumping at every chance to see them. We aren’t keeping a list of all the times we are putting in effort while they reap the benefits because we like them. We aren’t keeping score.
Watch: The Mamamia team confess our relationship deal-breakers. Post continues below.
The reality is that normally when you are in a relationship with a narcissist you aren’t going to realise it until you have a moment of clarity and start doing your own research.
However, if you aren’t sure, here are five signs that you are in a relationship with a narcissist.
Something within you hesitates to make future plans.
When my narcissistic ex mentioned getting an apartment together I remember a flood of emotions and thoughts that came into my mind but the main one that I could identify was fear.
My partner never followed through on our plans and his promises. He claimed that moving in together would change things but I knew in my gut that moving in together was not going to make it better.
A narcissist doesn’t want to make plans because they want to be in full control. You can’t plan for a future unless you give up what you want because otherwise, it’s not going to happen.
Remember, when you are in a healthy relationship you will be excited to make future plans with your partner.
You are putting in 100% effort and getting nothing in return.
Let me ask you if this sounds familiar.
You drive to their house
You are a slave to their schedule
You are always apologising and taking any blame
You are the only one fighting for the relationship
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist you will realise that your needs are never acknowledged or met and you have will be putting them first. Yet, the less they acknowledge you, the more you will do to try to get their attention and “love” again.