This is what it's like to come out as non-binary when you're a professional athlete.

‘Coming out.’ I hate the phrase to be honest, but it is something many of us in the LGTBQI+ community have had to go through to be our true selves with friends and family, until one such day that we don’t need to come out at all.

It’s terrifying, you are completely vulnerable. The journey to get to the realisation that you aren’t who you once thought you were, is one that takes time. It takes countless conversations with yourself as you question your whole identity, it takes you on an emotional rollercoaster like no other, but on the other side of it all is this feeling of enlightenment – as if a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

On the latest episode of Here if You Need, we caught up with Carlton star Darcy Vescio who was just the second elite-level AFLW player to come out as non-binary, revealing the news in an emotional video. 

I have immeasurable respect for Darcy doing this, putting themselves in the spotlight for deeply personal reasons and in doing so making the world a little safer for others who are questioning their gender identity.

Watch: No Filter Deni Todorović On Coming Out To Their Family. Post continues after video.

It's no secret I love AFL, but my love isn’t just around the game, it’s because of the tireless work the AFL does to be a leader in diversity and inclusion, and Darcy’s experience is just another example of how the sport has rallied around one of its stars during a time of need. It’s more than just a game, it’s a sport that cares.

“It happened over a few months I guess,” Darcy explains.

"I came out to my partner probably six months before I came out publicly. I went through a process of slowly sharing with the people around me which made me feel really comfortable and really strong in being able to share it more publicly.

"It was a bit of a process, and I was pretty all over the shop in that video, because I was feeling a lot. It was pretty raw. You can see at the start I tried to sidestep what was happening in my mind and then I was just like, I'm not going to get through anything if I don't talk about it. It was nice being able to do that.

"The AFL gave me complete control of whether the video went out, when it went out, and said if you don't want it to ever see the light of day and you can delete it and that's totally up to you. I felt quite confident that I could take things at my own pace as well."

It’s important to note that whilst Darcy doesn’t identify as a woman, they are still an AFLW player in every right. With that said, they are still on a personal journey to understanding what life looks like for a non-binary player in a binary sport.

“I feel like playing sport when I was identifying as a woman, you get so much power from that. I feel like there's a real feeling amongst your peers and your teammates that this is what you're fighting for. You want to perform well for you and for your team, but you're also doing it to show women are competitive beasts and we can do whatever we want to do if given the opportunity.

"I guess coming to the realisation that I’m being non-binary, I’ve had to reassess and navigate where that feminism sits within me now. It’s something that continues to evolve because I love being part of AFLW."

Listen to Darcy Vescio on Mamamia's Here If You Need. Post continues after podcast.

Darcy understands that there may be some people who question whether they should play in the league given they don't identify as a woman, but says the answer is really quite simple.

“I feel like I'm still very much part of the W community,” they explain.

“There are more non-binary players in the league now. I'm still a female athlete as well, so I can still relate to those struggles. I'm still really proud to play amongst so many amazing women. I've drawn a lot of strength from how they've supported me as well. We are a stronger league the more we can have people fully embracing who they are and being able to express that as well to the people around them.”

Featured Image: Darcy Vescio's Instagram account, @darcyvee.