'Why I don't care if my crying baby bothers you on the plane.'

If you, like me, spend too much time on the internet, you might have seen stories about people *gasp* being forced to sit next to babies and toddlers on planes.

You can also find plenty of tweets and posts from people complaining about their travels being ruined by the mere proximity of a small child. 

While we can agree it's frustrating to listen to a baby cry, many of these people's main issue simply seems to be that they're reminded of the existence of babies at all.

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Now, I am biased as a mother of a one-year-old, and particularly as a parent who recently travelled on two domestic flights with my baby in tow.

On the first flight, my baby wriggled and cried, screaming through the safety briefing, dropping her dummy multiple times and generally making me regret being (literally) strapped to her nine kilos of chaos. Eventually, she passed out 10 minutes before landing and was very unimpressed when I had to wake her to disembark.

Due to the particular circumstances of our flight, my husband and I got separated, and I ended up between two strangers with my baby on my lap. The woman on one side was kindly patient but also made it clear she wasn't going to make small talk and left me in peace to wrestle my child away from the in-flight menus. The man on the other side did a comedically good job of simply pretending my baby and I didn't exist. He did not make eye contact, smile or acknowledge our presence in any way. He really did a remarkable job of making me feel invisible while holding a screaming human.

After surviving that first flight, I told my husband in no uncertain terms that on the second flight our daughter could sit on his lap, and he could deal with the wriggling. Of course, on the second flight, she promptly fell asleep for almost the entire journey. I looked over at one point to see both my baby and my husband soundly sleeping, peacefully cuddled up together.

But back to the topic at hand — yes, my baby cried and screamed and wriggled on the plane. And I don't feel particularly bad for the people whose flight I may have 'ruined' by having a small human present. Flying with a baby is stressful enough without taking on the emotional wellbeing of all the adults around you as well.

Because at the end of the plane ride, they will walk off the plane and out of the airport and not have to think about it again, except as a story like, "remember that plane ride with the screaming baby?"

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Whereas for the parents, the stress of that moment will live on, in all our planning of future holidays and travel decisions. Is the convenience of flying worth the stares and judgment? Should we drive instead so the meltdowns only ruin our eardrums? Or what about when life just happens and you need to get to A from B quickly, possibly with a child dragged along? Parents can feel that every time we leave the house, we must factor in how annoying we will be to the world around us.

Because most parents do care if their babies bother you. We don't want to ruin anyone's day or be a pain. But you should care enough about the world around you to understand that and have some grace. All the people you encounter are going through their own private little struggles. Wouldn't it be fantastic if as adults we could have compassion and patience and just let it go? And if you can make a hard time easier for an exhausted parent and overwhelmed toddler, at very little cost to yourself, why wouldn't you?

So easily we can forget that once upon a time we were that crying child. Still developing emotional regulation and learning how to navigate the world, feeling lost and a little bit scared. As a child, you lost it in public and embarrassed your parents and caused a scene. All kids do. They are still learning how to control their emotions.

How great would it be if the expectation was that the adults around them, who (supposedly) have developed emotional regulation, can hold space for these little people when it all feels too much? That adults could act like adults, not complaining and whinging about the presence of a baby, but instead, simply come prepared with some headphones, accepting the reality that a quiet plane is probably an unrealistic expectation? Having some patience for parents who don't just experience the baby crying for this flight, but ALL THE TIME and would probably love it more than anyone else if their baby slept quietly for the whole trip.

I'm totally fine with babies acting like babies and kids acting like kids, even if it's slightly annoying and loud. I can cope. What drives me crazy is adults who can't act like adults.

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Feature image: Getty.