explainer

It costs $18,000 to leave a violent relationship. The government will only cover $5000.


$18,000 and 141 hours.

That's how much on average it costs an Australian woman to leave a violent relationship. Not to mention the emotional and mental toll as well.

For some women, it costs them less. Others it can even cost them more. Not to mention the fact, that for some women, their act of courage can cost them their lives.

The Australian Government offers just $5000 to victim-survivors fleeing abusive relationships. And that's $5000 to only the victim survivors who can essentially 'prove' their victim status and high-risk environment.

Watch: Women and violence: the hidden numbers. Post continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

This week, following mounting pressure to respond to the violence against women epidemic, Prime Minister Anthony Albanese made a $925 million pledge to expand a financial support scheme for women fleeing violent relationships.

Albanese said the scheme will be available over five years from July 2025, and it's expected to help 36,700 women a year with $5000 one-off payments, of which $1500 is in cash and $3500 comes on a pre-paid card for goods and services.

The irony though, is that a similar scheme to this one already exists in some states and territories — and victim-survivors say that accessing the benefits of the scheme has proven difficult.

ADVERTISEMENT

Victim-survivor Sarah Williams, also the founder of What Were You Wearing? Australia, said to Kaleidoscope News: "The $5000 to access financial support has sort of already been a thing and there's actually been so many barriers to getting it. For example, when I went through domestic violence and was so close to being murdered, I was not able to access it... I was denied because I didn't have an AVO. But the police didn't help me get an AVO."

For those who manage to access the $5000 payment, it's unlikely it will provide them with the full financial support they need. 

The Australian Council of Trade Unions (ACTU) previously found it takes the average victim-survivor $18,000 and 141 hours to extricate themselves from an abusive relationship. This can include costs of legal fees, hiring solicitors, court appearances, rent and bond, accessing mental health services, hiring removalist trucks — if even possible — and in some cases, looking after shared children. Then add cost of living pressures to the mix, and the mental load is real. 

Nicolle Edwards is the CEO and Founder of RizeUp, a national organisation that helps women, children and families move on after the devastation of domestic and family violence. Their mission is to deliver life-changing and practical support to these families when they need it most.

Speaking with Mamamia, Edwards says: "Leaving an abusive relationship takes a huge toll and affects every area of a person's life — from emotional and psychological to financial. We know the dilemmas a woman faces to leave and the consequences when she does.

ADVERTISEMENT

"While policy is directed at encouraging women to leave violent homes, the lack of practical support once they do means they often end up living in poverty. That is why we continue to focus on practical strategies to ensure women and children have the resources to survive and thrive."

Steph* is someone who knows firsthand how emotionally and financially taxing it can be when leaving a violent relationship.

After being in a relationship with her husband for over 10 years, Steph found the courage and opportunity to leave her abusive marriage last year. In the months since, Steph has come to realise exactly what women leaving abusive partners are up against. Seeking loans from loved ones and banks, securing a rental property, furnishing a place and paying for groceries — not to mention trying to financially co-support two kids under 10.

"I took an $8,000 loan from my parents, I managed to access $10,000 from my ex-husband and my joint savings account, and around $20,000 from my Super in order to support myself over the last 11 months since leaving," says Steph.

Of course, Steph is entitled to more money from her ex-husband — they sold their joint house before splitting, which Steph has received no money from, nor does she receive child support.

The fear of getting lawyers and the courts involved is that Steph doesn't want her kids being swept up in the system. 

"It will drag on forever unless I take him to court, but I don't want to go down that path — I want to protect my kids from knowing everything. I am lucky to have my family's support financially, and I am educated and have been able to find permanent work since leaving. But for the many women who don't have these options — what are they to do?"

ADVERTISEMENT

Being on Centrelink and trying to access government support — which is wrapped in red tape — barely covers Steph's rent for the week, let alone the cost of living. 

"People go, 'Why don't you just leave?' But it's more complicated. What was I going to do, looking after two young kids, supporting myself, paying rent, childcare and trying to find a full-time position — the whole experience left me wrecked," she explains. "It is honestly the most hopeless situation you can ever be in."

One of the biggest financial struggles women leaving violent relationships also face is the cost of housing — and finding adequate housing too. In Australia, 7,000 women a year return to violent situations because there is nowhere for them to go.

Where to go for help.

The Are You Safe At Home website service directory is very handy, showing you what services are readily available depending on where you live in Australia.

Support services include:

  • 1800 RESPECT is the national helpline provides confidential support, information,and counselling for people experiencing or at risk of experiencing domestic and family violence. They can be reached 24/7 on 1800 737 732.
  • Safe Steps Family Violence Response Centre provides support and accommodation for women and children experiencing domestic violence in Victoria. Their confidential helpline operates 24/7 on 1800 015 188.
  • Domestic Violence Crisis Service offers crisis support and accommodation for people experiencing domestic violence in the Australian Capital Territory (ACT). Their crisis line is available 24/7 on (02) 6280 0900.
  • Domestic Violence Line is operated by the NSW Government, and offers counselling, information, and referrals for people experiencing or witnessing domestic violence in New South Wales. They can be reached 24/7 on 1800 656 463.
  • DVConnect is a Queensland-based service provides crisis support and accommodation for people experiencing domestic violence. Their helpline operates 24/7 on 1800 811 811.

Financial support schemes:

Centrelink Crisis Payments are available, though there are strict criteria to be considered eligible. It is a one-off non-taxable payment if you've experienced an extreme circumstance and are in severe financial hardship, domestic violence noted as an example. 

The Women's Services Network (WESNET) partners with Telstra to help women impacted by domestic violence to maintain a safe mobile phone. Telstra provides smartphones, pre-paid credit and information on the safe use of technology to WESNET for distribution through its partner agencies to support women impacted by domestic violence.

ADVERTISEMENT

Referrals to refuges are made via the domestic violence hotline and service dependent on what city you live in. Contact 1800 RESPECT for further information.

Based on your state or territory, you also have access to paid domestic and family violence leave. Visit your local government's website for more information.

With all of this in mind, it's crucial that assistance from the Federal Government and their state and territory counterparts continues to grow.

Steph says she hopes that people in positions of power will put themselves in the shoes of a woman leaving a violent relationship.

"We see these press conferences where journalists ask politicians, 'What is the price of bread or milk?' The question I want to ask is, 'Do you know how much it costs a woman to leave an abusive relationship and survive?' Because I do."

If this post brings up any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. It doesn’t matter where you live, they will take your call and, if need be, refer you to a service closer to home.

Mamamia is a charity partner of RizeUp Australia, a national organisation that helps women, children and families move on after the devastation of domestic and family violence. Their mission is to deliver life-changing and practical support to these families when they need it most. If you would like to support their mission you can donate here.

Feature Image: Getty.