The weirdest sex advice from old Cosmo mags that you probably... shouldn't follow.

Growing up as teens in the '00s, many women read magazines like Cleo and Cosmopolitan religiously.

These magazines had it all: fashion and beauty inspiration, advice on pursuing a career (probably as a marine biologist), and above all, so many bizarre sex and dating tips.

From rogue tactics to get a crush's attention to questionable advice, these were... different times for women.

In a thread on Reddit, people have been... remembering some of this advice, and sharing some of the weirdest sex tips they remember reading in old issues of Cosmopolitan — and oh boy, do not try these at home.

Get popping candy involved.

"Put Pop Rocks in your mouth and give him a blowjob."

Cling wrap yourself to your partner.

"During intercourse, you’re all wrapped up in each other. So extend that carnal concept even further by literally tying yourselves together. Take a really long piece of sturdy plastic wrap (long enough to fit around your body about eight times). 

"Then fold it in half, twist it into a long rope that fits snuggly around both of your bodies twice, and secure it with a knot at your waist so you’re locked together. (You can also use a Pilates stretch band or a knitted scarf that has a bit of give.) Whether you then get into girl-on-top, missionary, or straddle him face-to-face, you won’t be able to move more than a few inches from each other."

Get rather unsanitary with coins. 

"Turn your vagina into a slot machine."

Image: Reddit. 

Don't be a big spoon, use a big fork. 

"Drag a fork across your partner's skin as a part of foreplay, and suck on a popsicle and then give a blow job. Picture me, a virgin at that point, thinking I was going to blow some guy’s mind lol," one user recalled.

One person added, "I can picture someone nervously standing in the bedroom doorway trying to look sexy, holding up a fork in one hand, a popsicle in the other and saying, 'Ready for some fun, babe?'"

The eyelids are the windows to the soul – so lick them. 

"Ladies, go all gecko on your man."

Image: Reddit. 

The woman has a PhD (pretty hardcore delusions??).

Or just try licking his lips. 

"Lick the edges of HIS lips with your tongue, which will remind him of your tongue swirling around the tip of his dick.

"Promptly tried this on my ninth-grade boyfriend. We were both virgins and I’d never gone down on him. I asked him if it reminded him of an experience he literally had never had." 

Doughnut do this. 

"I like doughnuts and dick but I don’t want them at the same time lol."

Image: Reddit. 

If all else fails, get sandy. 

"I bought a subscription a couple of years ago and one issue told me to dump sand all over my floor and have sex on top of it to simulate a tropical getaway."

Clown sex should be the last resort.

Image: Reddit. 

Just tap it like paying at the checkout. 

"One time Cosmo told me to tap on the underside of his penis for pleasure. I started tapping one time during a BJ and he was like 'What are you doing? Are you tapping me?'"

This one is a disaster waiting to happen.

"I distinctly remember a tip to freeze grapes and give a BJ with frozen grapes in your mouth. It sounds like a great way to literally choke and die."

Don't try this... ever.

"This one has haunted me since I read it."

Image: Reddit. 

They don't call it a job for nothing. 

"Wrap a scrunchie or another hair tie around the base of his dick to give a better blowjob... also the 'hum a song' thing, that just makes your boyfriend think you're bored and trying to amuse yourself while getting it on.

"Cosmo definitely made young me think blowjobs were difficult and required outside objects and singing techniques in order to do well."

Feature image: Getty. 

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