sex

"I may not have sex again this year." 17 women on how isolation has changed their sex lives.

In our new and rapidly-changing coronavirus reality, almost nothing about daily life feels the same.

From the way we work and how we parent our kids, to what those of us who can’t get our hands on toilet paper are wiping our bums with, nearly everything we know is changing because of the COVID-19 pandemic.

This includes sex: when, how often, where and with whom.

So, we asked 17 Aussie women who are single, dating, in long-term relationships, living with their partners or married, how our new normal way of life with self-isolation and social distancing is affecting their sex lives. Below, you’ll find the good, the bad, and the frequent masturbation.

WATCH: Here’s how our favourite celebrities are getting creative stuck in isolation. Post continues after video.

Video by Mamamia

1. Britt, in a long-term relationship.

“My partner is a supermarket worker. He’s working extra hours, so sex isn’t happening. He’s doing well considering and we have a good laugh at things when he gets home, then he falls asleep – he has to get up at about 4.30am and isn’t home until 7pm. We know it’s not forever and things will go back to normal… I’ll just have to jump him one morning before his alarm goes off!”

2. Mel, dating.

“The guy I’m dating was working overseas. Luckily, he quit to come back before they stopped flying people in. Now, he’s in quarantine in another part of the state, and we likely won’t get to see each other until all this is over. I feel super frustrated and a little sad, I’m working from home so feeling really lonely, isolated and quite redundant. We’re still messaging every day (I find that Snapchat videos are a great way to communicate). But it’s such a strange thing to be locked in your house, not talking to anyone, and not having any kind of touch or psychical comfort.”

3. Jane, in a long-term relationship.

“I’ve been with my boyfriend for eight months and we are loving it. We both have really high sex drives. We’re having the best sex, we’re on a roll at the moment! His work routine before coronavirus involved really early starts so he would get home at 4pm and crash hard. We would often send sexy texts to each other during the day, but wouldn’t follow through with the fantasies in the evening. Now that our work situations have changed because of the virus, he’s doing half-day shifts at the moment and I’m working from home. He comes home at lunchtime and we get it on in my lunch break every day. We are both far away from our families at the moment so it’s been a real comfort to have more time to spend together, and in such an intimate way.”

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4. Peta, single.

“I’m way less horny. The world ending isn’t really doing it for me. Oh, and I don’t know if I will have sex again this year, so that’s fun. That’s it.”

5. Rachel, in a new relationship.

“I’m in a new relationship that developed quite fast (and we’re basically living together now) and being indoors together has meant a LOT of sex. And masturbation when I haven’t got him around. I need lots of stress/anxiety relief.”

6. Maria, married.

“My husband and I aren’t really thinking about sex. There’s so much going on with work, and we are moving in with my mum, so it’s the last thing on our minds. But once we are settled in, we will be working in the same room together while my mum is at work. I assume it will then be on like Donkey Kong.”

7. Jessica, in a long-term relationship.

“There is nothing that makes me feel less like having sex than spending every minute with my partner. We wake up together, we work alongside each other, we eat and then we shower. Too much exposure definitely isn’t an aphrodisiac!”

8. Millie, in a long-term relationship.

“Our relationship in general has changed since isolation. My partner and I are both introverted people, so we’re finding that we no longer need to hang out together in front of the TV as we usually would during week nights after work. And sometimes, sleeping apart can help relieve the need for some space. Last night, for the very first time ever, my partner, my cat and I all slept in separate bedrooms. The need for space from each other now and then is building up. I can only imagine what months of this situation will bring.”

9. Lauren, single.

“Up until late last year, I was in a long-term relationship, and I had the comfort of someone else for years. I spent the first few months of this year getting back on my feet, and I really did! I was going on dates and had wonderful romantic encounters. Sex is something I really enjoy, and the thought of it being potentially six months before I’m touched by someone else is an incredibly isolating thought. My vibrator is getting a work out though…”

vibrator-feat
"My vibrator is getting a workout..." Image: Getty.
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10. Ellen, in a new relationship.

"I'm in a fairly new relationship (it's been about three months) and the whole coronavirus situation has stopped us from seeing each other and is really putting a damper on the whole new relationship energy! You're meant to be obsessed with each other and having lots of sex in the first few months of a relationship. We can't really do that right now. We're trying to video call each other every day, but it's been hard to keep it consistent."

11. Meg, in a long-term relationship.

"My partner and I have been together for eight years, so initially I thought this would be a breeze in terms of maintaining our sex life. We are stable, loving and supportive, so if anything, I thought the number of times we would have sex in a week would increase due to us being at home alone for weeks on end. However, we have actually found that spending ALL day, EVERY day with each other has put a bit of a dampener on our sex life. I guess spending time apart really does make the heart grow fonder and bedroom... hotter? To combat this, we have structured our time so we both "go to work" in the morning, meaning we work in different rooms. At the end of the day, we have new things to talk about and can be excited to see each other."

12. Lily, single.

"I matched with a guy I really like on a dating app before this all started. We had been chatting non-stop on the app and then met up for a first date two weeks ago, which went pretty well (not the most amazing date in history but still pretty good). Now with all this going on, we haven’t been able to meet up again, which pretty much eliminates the opportunity for sex. I feel like we are in those critical early days of something where you need to spend time together for the sparks to fly, but there’s only so much small talk via DM I can keep up with. I can feel the spark slipping away. I am usually pretty uptight when it comes to sleeping with people I am not in a relationship with, but after our first date, I told myself to put my insecurities aside the next time we saw each other. Now, I feel frustrated, disappointed and a little alone."

13. Leah, married.

"A week ago, my husband's mate was diagnosed with coronavirus. Because they'd been in recent contact, my husband was asked to quarantine himself at home. To do that, we made a makeshift bed on the floor of our toddler's bedroom and he's been living in that one room to minimise our contact. Not easy! We just found out his test for coronavirus came back negative, but he's been told to stay in quarantine for the full 14 days, anyway. Aside from the fact I have been terrified of being infected, we've been forbidden from touching each other for two weeks by his doctors. Seeing him coughing and spluttering into a medical mask is not much of a turn on, so I have to say there hasn't been a lot of that sort of temptation. That said, it's made us both realise how much intimacy there is in the non-sexual touch we usually share. Holding hands and hugs are obviously not allowed, which has me feeling quite disconnected from him."

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14. Jennifer, in a relationship.

"COVID-19 has had a positive effect on our sex life. I think there’s not as much of a rush and a time pressure, so we seem to be taking our time a bit more and being more adventurous. It’s nice to reconnect with him, despite feeling like I’m disconnecting with so many others."

15. Amanda, dating.

"With the influx of negative news, uncertainty, cancellation of social events and living in a state of worry and anxiety, the last thing I feel like doing is getting in and getting it done."

16. Selena, in a long-term relationship.

"We’ve been watching the evening news just before we go to bed, and that triggers emotions of worry, uncertainty, even fear for what will happen. I guess sex isn’t the chosen activity after hearing about the death tolls rising across the globe. Instead, we’ve been discussing serious topics like whether or not we’ll lose our jobs, if we’ll be able to afford to live where we do if we do lose our jobs, and if our parents will be OK. Talking about what’s going on seems to be how we’ve been dealing with staying positive."

17. Kara, single.

"What sex life...?"

Feature image: Getty. These women are known to Mamamia but have chosen to remain anonymous. Names have been changed to protect their privacy.

How has self-isolation affected your sex life (or lack thereof)? Tell us in the comments below.

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