"Dear restaurants: please stop ruining every meal with coriander."

I’ve spent the past couple of weeks away from home, which means I’ve been regularly eating out and ordering a lot of takeaway food.

Ordinarily, this would be heaven — being away from the responsibility of feeding my family, fending only for myself, eating whatever the hell I please.

Except, there’s been one problem: almost every single meal I’ve had in this time has been ruined by the presence of Coriandrum sativum.

That’s its scientific name. You probably know it as coriander, or cilantro for our friends in the US, or as THAT NASTY GREEN SH*T THAT OVERPOWERS AND RUINS EVERY GODDAMN DISH.

It used to be used mainly in Asian cooking, especially Thai, which made it easy to avoid – or seek out if you happen to love it (in which case you need to seek help as you’re clearly unhinged).

Yet coriander has recently crept its way into the mainstream. And now? It’s unavoidable.

A couple of weeks ago I ordered a pulled pork burger from a popular burger joint in Brisbane, and took one bite only to find it completely overrun with coriander.

Then I was ordering dinner at a restaurant in Bondi the other night and had to trawl through the menu to find something that didn’t contain this nasty herb. Once it’s added, you may as well just be having a bowl of coriander and nothing else for all you can taste.

I understand different people like different things, and those tastes vary widely and dramatically, but clearly I’m not the only one who feels this way. There is actually an “I hate Coriander” Facebook page, which boasts 117 thousand ‘likes’ and actually sells “I hate Coriander” merchandise like t-shirts and hats (which, to be honest, I would wear).

Rather than just complaining and ranting about the coriander fad (at least, I pray it’s just a fad and not the permanent ruination of food), I’ve been thinking of solutions. I’m a fixer.

How about having a “CF” (coriander free) option on the menu to go with the vegetarian, vegan, and gluten-free options?

Or "Coriander Optional", so if you’re a bit of a weirdo you can request it and the normal people who have good taste won’t get an awful surprise in their fish burrito?

How about dried coriander in a grinder to sprinkle over food (clearly labelled, though, so it doesn’t get mixed up with the cracked pepper — which unlike coriander is actually a pleasant addition to a meal)?

I don’t claim to have the answers to all the problems of the world, but this needs to stop. It is ruining lives dinners.