'You make life hard.' We asked 40 mums what they'd say, anonymously, to their kids.

Mamamia's Confessions series asks women to share what they'd say to the people closest to them, if they could do so anonymously. What would you tell your parents? Your manager? Your ex? It could be a secret you've been holding onto for years, or something that's on your mind right now. Nothing is off-limits. 

We asked 50 women the one thing they'd say to their child or children anonymously. Here's what they told us.

Being their parent.

"I love you without reservation but I'm 50, not invisible. Chat to me not only when you need me for something but because you can. You hurt my heart and my soul with words that you use sometimes and the hurt lives with me longer than you think."

"I wish we could give you a sibling. I’m sorry we can’t, and I so hope that changes one day."

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"I'm sorry I didn't break the cycle my parents created."

"Please give me space, but also, please don't ever leave me."

"I believe in you, I love you, I want the best for you - every decision I make is about that."

"I'm sorry for the mistakes I made as you were growing up. I did the very best I could and I'm immensely proud of the strong and successful women you’ve become."

"I'll always put you first, even ahead of your dad and my marriage. That might not be the right thing to do but that’s me."

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"I really wish I'd chosen a better dad for you. I'm so sorry."

"Could you please just chill out?! I got this!"

"I've never felt so mortal and I'm terrified of leaving you."

"Your dad was emotionally abusive, erratic, manipulative, and deceptive. I left your dad to protect you and your brothers, and for you to have the opportunity to see how to love, respect and treat women from good mentors and role models."

The mental load.

"I love you but I'm tired. I'm looking forward to the day I become an empty nester."

"I can't wait for you to grow up and be more independent. I've never felt so exhausted and broken. It's daily. I know it's normal for little kids, but the lack of appreciation, remuneration, the constant fighting between you three sucks and I'd NEVER choose to become a parent if I could have my time again. I fantasise about secretly packing a bag and moving to a warmer state by myself, though I know I'd hurry back after a few days. Also, I LOVE YOU each so much that it hurts, you are everything to me."

"No one told me that being the parent of adult children is so much harder than when you were little."

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"I love you but I need you to leave me alone."

"Stop saying I am angry all the time. You overexaggerate and make me feel like the world's worst parent simply because I ask you to do something like pick your shoes up off the lounge room floor for the thousandth time. You seem to think all your friends don’t have to do these things... well, they do!"

Behaviour and attitude.

"'Back in my day', I would never speak to my parents the way you speak to me! The snappiness, answering back and rolling eyes is doing my head in. I know you are a teenager and I am doing my best to roll with it but my god, it is taking all my self-restraint to hold back with what I really want to say to you."

"You make life hard."

"To my stepdaughter - you are a spoiled, entitled brat who is not very likeable. You are manipulative and have a different face for everyone depending on what you want from them. You treat your dad like he is disposable and pick him up and drop him when it suits you. You only spend time with us when we have something to offer and I only tolerate you because I love your dad so much."

"You come across as needy to your peers. You need to back off or you'll end up with no friends."

"I love you but the constant talking is killing me. I can’t speak to your dad or anyone unless you're asleep! I feel sensory overload."

"Your voice can be really irritating. When you are whining, it's unbearable."

Love.

"You are the love of my life - you mean more to me than anyone, even your dad."

"I know I have failed. I know I should have done better. But one thing I know I have done from the second I knew each of you were in my belly, was love you immensely, without question. And I will continue to love you both with every ounce of my being, even when the universe is no longer."

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"I don’t know why my feelings for you changed when your sister was born. I will always care for you but I don't love you as much as your sister."

"I hate that autism has stolen so much of you away from me."

"Being your mum has saved my life."

"I love you more than life itself but for the love of god please pick up your own sh*t!"

Advice.

"Life is going to hit you with some uncomfortable and shattering blows so learn to deal with some heartache."

"It’s okay to not have the answer, half of us never find an answer."

"Stop pushing people away. One day you'll need them."

"No one likes a whinger!"

"Never go through anything alone, in your mind, just talk to me and we'll do this crazy life together."

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"Always be true to yourself."

"Please don’t worry about things at your age. You are so loved, we are proud of you and we will always be here for you."

"Stop posting revealing pictures of yourself, natural photos are so much better."

"Stay true to what you want in life. Don’t be swayed by your mates' choices. (I.e. don’t be afraid to get good marks to get into the uni course you want when they are all heading into trades.)"

"You are okay, trust yourself and you'll be okay."

Miscellaneous.

"Could you all please just coordinate your social events and all go out on the one night so dad and I can have sex please without having to pick you up or take you somewhere or worry that you are coming home earlier than expected! And to our studious teen who doesn’t like to go out much and is up to all hours in the study next to our room - we love this side of you but please we just want to have noisy sex and can’t when you are there all the time!"

"There are better things to masturbate with than an electric toothbrush."

Do you have any confessions of your own to add? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Read our previous confessions articles here:

• "I can’t stand your parents!" We asked 50 women what they'd say, anonymously, to their partner.
• "You blatantly favour her": We asked 50 women what they'd say, anonymously, to their parents.
• "You're not funny": We asked 50 women what they'd say, anonymously, to their boss.

Feature image: Supplied.

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