Here's what all those deliriously happy Christmas posts REALLY mean.

On a day where the attempt at (pretend) perfection can reach new heights of social media BS, I think we need to reveal what the top 10 most popular Christmas hashtags really mean…

#whitechristmas – when your regular spray tan lady is booked up because you forgot to text her & you have stay polar bear skinned till your new years eve booking.

#grateful – when you score a carpark thats less than 2 km from the front of  the shopping  centre.

#happyhour – that one delicious oh so precious HOUR on Xmas day between when one side of the family have LEFT & the other side of the family SHOW UP…

#mistletoe – no no no this should read #cameltoe because everyone is doing their Xmas shopping in #activewear

#activewear – the new uniform for Boxing Day because – dressing up after putting on a lunch like that? Aint no body got time for that…

#joytotheworld – how everyone feels when Justin Bieber brings out a Christmas Carol duet with Mariah Carey #Xmasfail

#ChristmasCracker – those drunk sexting texts your ex sends you every Christmas after a day of drinking with his family & having #fomo seeing all the happy “couples”.

#stockingstuffer – what your butt looks like in that #KK copy dress after you bought something tipsy online (again) that doesn’t fit your butt (again).

#happyholidays  – the ones where you dont have to offend your divorced parents by going to the “other” ones place for Xmas lunch because you decide to run away & have Xmas lunch at an RSL in Wagga instead.

Merry Christmas, everyone!