'Why I refused to let my partner surprise me with an engagement ring.'

Picture my surprise: an otherwise quiet evening at home made magical with flickering candles, scattered rose petals, and my boyfriend Tom down on one knee. 

The proposal was intimate and perfect — but unlike the proposal, the ring wasn't a surprise.

It was exactly the ring I had always wanted: an oval solitaire diamond in yellow gold with four prongs, designed by me. And it was (and still is) flawless.

I love my engagement ring. It's elegant, timeless and precisely what I envisioned. But it wasn't just luck; it was a decision I made.

I refused to let my boyfriend surprise me with an engagement ring, and you should do the same.

Watch MM Confessions: What my partner doesn't know. Post continues below.

Some women don't mind what their engagement ring looks like, and I support that, of course. But I do mind, and you might too.

When Tom and I began talking about getting engaged, I knew exactly what I wanted my ring to look like. Having worked in the jewellery industry for years, I had spent countless hours designing and examining rings, understanding the nuances of design and gemstone choices. An engagement ring isn't just any piece of jewellery; it's the most important one I will ever wear. 

Naturally, I took control of the ring design process, and it became more of a collaborative experience with Tom instead of a solo decision he oversaw. Here's why you should take this approach too.

The pitfalls of the surprise ring. 

Unless your partner is a mind reader, there’s a significant risk that the ring they choose might not align with your tastes.

Imagine the proposal — a time of love and joy — being tinged with disappointment because the ring isn't quite right. It might be too flashy, too simple, or just not your style. Returning or exchanging an engagement ring can be awkward at best, and impossible at worst, if it was custom-made.

Whether you take the lead or collaborate with your partner, designing your own ring can eliminate this risk entirely. It guarantees that the symbol of your commitment is something you genuinely love, and for me, it added an extra layer of joy to the proposal.

The ring was perfect, just like the moment. I felt understood and valued, because Tom respected my wishes enough to let me take the reins.

A more personalised piece.

One benefit of designing your own ring is that you can incorporate elements that hold special significance to you as a couple, making the ring uniquely yours. It's more than a ring off the shelf; it's a carefully crafted piece that tells a story.

My oval solitaire in yellow gold with four prongs isn't just a beautiful ring; it reflects my style and my relationship's journey. In fact, this design ultimately propelled us into an entirely new journey when we launched it as the first ring design in my business, The Moissanite Company — 'The Luise Ring', named after my great grandmother. Not to mention, the entire experience has become one of our most shared precious memories.

Does removing the surprise take away the romance?

If Tom had controlled the design of the ring, it probably would've been a completely different shape, in the wrong metal type and the wrong size. I'm of the belief that the romance lies in the thought and effort put into making sure the ring is perfect for you. Tom's proposal was still a beautiful surprise, filled with love.

Instead of being a wildcard, the ring was a guaranteed hit. It was one less thing to worry about in a moment meant to be purely joyful.

Makayla on her wedding day, thrilled with her engagement ring and wedding band. Image: Supplied.

I found taking control of the ring design process empowering, and it reinforced the idea that my preferences and desires mattered. For others, I would say that it's about asserting your right to have a say in something that is so deeply personal. 

An engagement ring is not just a piece of jewellery. 

It's about designing a symbol of your love to cherish forever.

So, be confident in taking the lead when it comes to designing your engagement ring. Don't leave something so important to chance. Make it an experience by choosing a jeweller who is supportive and who works with you and your partner to get all the elements of your dream ring right. 

Make sure it's a piece you'll cherish forever, one that perfectly encapsulates your style and unique story. Trust me, you won't regret it.

In the end, what mattered most was that Tom wanted me to be happy. He understood that by letting me design the ring, he was giving me a symbol of our love that was truly perfect. And that's the kind of thoughtfulness that makes the experience truly special.

For more from Makayla, you can visit her business The Moissanite Company here.

Feature Image: Supplied.