As my two daughters and I walked happily to the ultrasound room, we did not have a clue our lives were about to change forever. At the time, my biggest concern was that the technician would divulge the sex of our little one, as we wanted it to be a surprise at birth.
The technician was a woman of few words, and not very cheerful. I introduced myself and my two daughters and explained this was their first time seeing a sonogram. They were very excited to see a glimpse of their little brother or sister. We received few words from the technician until she frantically said, “I need to go see if a doctor is still here. I see something that isn’t right!”
She then walked out of the room, leaving my jelly-covered belly exposed.
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My daughters immediately asked if everything was alright. Although my heart was pounding, I reassured them it was. When the technician came back in, she told me, without a doctor present, she only saw three out of the four chambers of my baby’s heart and that he/she may have Down syndrome.
I was in complete shock and thought there must be some mistake. I was in protective mode for my two daughters standing beside me while trying to process the words I just heard. How could a person begin to make an unauthorised diagnosis in such a cold and heartless manner? This was supposed to be a happy memory that my daughters and I were to share together for the rest of our lives.
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Medical professionals can be so brusque at times. A friend of our family has a son who has downs mildly. When she had him, the doctor told her she should know given she works with children (in a kindergarten). It doesn’t mean she loves him any less or that he isn’t perfect in their eyes. That’s the main takeaway this woman needs to remember. And hey if we were all the same, life would be pretty boring. By the use of “she” guess they did find out the sex which they didn’t want to though...
I feel like this author is more angry at the diagnosis rather than the health professionals. Asking a doctor not to tell you any of the negatives is not receiving the facts. The facts would be the positives and negatives. Her belief in God and him making no mistakes is not what drives medical decisions. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but something we have to acknowledge when we decide to bring children into the world. Our children may have a medical or psychosocial issue and we have to process that.
I’d have to disagree. I feel what initially triggered her rejection of such negative, over the top and absolute ‘treatment recommendations’ was the insensitivity of all her Health Carers, beginning with the ultrasonographer.
People with Down Syndrome can live fulfilling lengthy lives.
Just as you say, every child is at risk of developing medical, psychological issues...so...do they give you the option of ‘aborting’ your 20 year old when a Schotzophrenia diagnosis is given? Of cause not! That is ludicrous! Lol!
So what makes one life more valuable than another?
I have a friend with Down Syndrome who is 40 and FAR more capable of independent and responsible behavior/self care than my 20 year old schitzophrenic child.
Wether your motivation is your Faith, God, or simply a healthy respect for the right others have to preserve and protect their own life, it’s hardly something worth discriminating against this Mother for.
What type of Society do we have were Mothers ‘kill’ imperfect babes, and accept only the perfect.
No infant would ever survive! Because no one is perfect!
What chance would Human Kind have if all supposedly ‘nurturing mothers’ acted in this heartless manner.
The world would have missed out on so many ‘imperfect wonders’ who contributed notably to history.
If infanticide should be acceptable, we wouldn’t have had the likes of Steven Hawking, Albert Einstein, Vincent Van Gough...to name but a few!
Informed consent is about making a patient clear about all significant issues, but medicolegally, the negatives are something that must be covered. All well and good to say "don't tell me", but then come back and sue because "I was never made aware of this".
Stephen Hawking did not develop his medical condition until he was at university...it kind of negates the infanticide issue really.
Sarah is right. How did the author expect the news? There is no nice way to announce it. The author wanted to be wrapped in blissful ignorance and told her foetus' condition is all great, happiness, rainbows and sunshine. As we all know, that is impossible.
I disagree very very strongly with you. I feel it is very wrong and selfish to bring a child with a known severe lifelong disability into this world. We have these pre-natal tests for this very reason. To prevent this condition. And having psychological issues is not the same as having a permanent physical (heart, tongue/speech) disability and intellectual disability. I feel you are trying desperately to compare it and it simply won't work. And no one is talking about 'killing' imperfect babies, because they are not even babies yet, nor infants, so infanticide doesn't apply here. I think you need to look up the definition of infanticide it means killing a born infant/toddler. Not a foetus.