Does it seem like every second schoolkid is exceptional? Well, I’m here to put my hand up and say, “not mine”.
My kids are average, and I am okay with that.
They are absolutely exceptional to me, but they are not exceptional at anything in particular.
To be truthful, they aren’t particularly talented. They are average in school and average at sport. They tried piano – and weren’t really that good. They play soccer and tennis and do okay, but nothing special.
My seven-year old just competed at the school swimming carnival and scored a very impressive third, out of a field of six.
His four-year-old sister really likes ballet, but is never going to be a prima ballerina.
In a time of the exceptionally-talented, high-achieving children you encounter at every turn, my three fit right smack-bang in the mid-range.
Don’t get me wrong, my three kids are the love of my life – they are funny and sweet and loving, they are silly and kind and crazy at times, they play together as well as they fight and they drive me up the wall as much as they make me catch my breath with love.
But they aren’t’ top of the class, or winning school debates, they aren’t Gifted and Talented, or winning awards at every turn.
They are just kids. And to me – that’s just fine.
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With my first I measured and scrutinised every other baby in mothers’ group alongside him – just as much as the other mums did.
“Who talked first? Who walked first? Oh, Chelsea just loves books, I am sure she will start reading soon. Have you heard Jack beat that Fisherprice drum? We’re thinking of enrolling him in junior piano.”
Those first few years of parenting are a minefield. This tiny being holds so much potential for the future and you just want to grab it and mold it.
Will he be musical, or sporting? Oh, look at how he draws. Have you seen him write his name?
You struggle to contain your ambitions for them.
As they get older, the world becomes competitive around you. From the minute you hit kindergarten reading levels, it’s on. Mothers talk of OC classes and selective schools. Phrases like Gifted and Talented crop up in conversations daily. The world of Saturday sports becomes about squads and the firsts.
“I just want my kids to be happy” you say.. and you mean it.. but its hard not to think that your child might just be that little bit special, that fleeting notion that just maybe they might have something special and if so you should at least attempt to let them realise their potential.
I remember when my middle son, now a five-year old, was first moved up in his swimming class.
His teacher proudly told me that at the age of three they had never promoted a child so early. I remember those first stiffening bristles of pride rising through me. Visions of packed-to-the-brim swimming bags flooding my front hallway for years to come. I could feel myself already rising early each day for swimming training. I could imagine the slight chuckle I would give when others would ask me what sports my kids enjoyed. I could taste the medals. I could smell the chlorine that would permeate my life. I had a champion on my hands.
Watch out Ian Thorpe, you haven’t met my Odie yet.
And then I came back to earth as I removed his bulging swim nappy. Over the years I have watched him slowly plod along at that same level for the 24 months.
He loves swimming. He sure does a mean bomb and hardly ever cheats at Marco Polo, but he isn’t even close to that Olympic-would-be he became for just a fragment of a second poolside that day.
He is well, he is just average.
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Folks, I am here to break something to you as well.
Your child probably isn’t a genius either. Your child probably isn’t a sporting prodigy and probably isn’t going to make Mensa. Your child probably is just like mine – average.
And you know what? You should be okay with that, too.
Obviously, to me my children are spectacular. They hold onto me like they will never see me again when they depart at the school gates each day and fiercely whisper ‘I love you’ in my ear.
They delight in everyday wonders. They are kind and brave and are a thrill to be around. They question me about the world with unquenchable curiosity – but most of all they are happy.
My children might be average but they are my world. If that is average then average is pretty damn good to me.
Top Comments
Thanks for this article. As a former average child and now an average adult, I can tell you that your children will be just fine. I went from making C's and D's in middle school (and being just okay in extracurricular activities) to becoming a medical doctor (my grades did improve in college, but only cause I studied my butt off). Now my daughter is in the same boat, but she's happy and enjoying being a child, and that's all that matters. Also, once everyone becomes an adult, unless they are amazingly super talented at something, no one really remembers how great they were at something that happened years ago. So there's that. Again, this was a good article!
My little girl said her first 3 words at 4 months, crawled at 5 months, mimicked singing patterns at 6 months, walked at 11 months, could speak in sentences by 14 months.... up until she went to school she was absolutely profound. She's 8 now and all through school so far she's struggled. Not in a, too smart to function kind of way, in a can't spell very well, terrible at maths and in all the catch up classes kind of way. Despite us supporting her (not pushing), checked for disabilities and we've had her tutored, she's just not very good at school. I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out what went wrong. I'm not worried though because as far as I'm concerned she's funny, kind, brave and wise. I think that as parents we need to support our kids but leave their schooling to school. We have to focus on this insanely important job of helping our children develop a personality because no matter how intelligent they are, without a personality an adults life can end up a struggle.
Hiya, my son is almost exactly the same- he could talk underwater with a mouthful of marbles at the age of 2 but has had trouble at school. I'm just wondering-has your daughter been assessed by an Occupational Therapist? Some times kids that reach milestones early miss out on really important pre-learning skills that are required at school. OT's can give you strategies that will help, for example crossing the midline exercises that help with writing & copying from the board. Nothing to worry about, just some little tips that might make school more enjoyable 😊 Good luck