Remember when you were a kid and you'd do almost anything for your mum to let you loose in Target? Well, it seems that immense call to stalk the hallowed aisles is a universal experience.
In a tale that sounds like it could be straight out of a family comedy, Zoe Wilson, an 8-year-old girl from suburban Ohio took matters into her own hands when the shopping bug caught up with her.
Instead of doing the usual (pleading with her parents for a ride), she decided to be her own chauffeur, embarking on a solo mission to Target that has left the internet both amused and concerned.
On a seemingly ordinary Monday morning, while her parents were still fast asleep, Wilson hatched a plan that would make even Kevin McCallister proud. She snagged the keys to her mother's 2020 Nissan Rogue and set off on her adventure, navigating through four cities and covering about 10 miles.
While her determination was admirable, Zoe's driving skills left much to be desired. Dashcam footage from a passing vehicle captured the SUV swerving erratically across lanes, narrowly avoiding other cars, and even mounting a curb. It's safe to say that this impromptu driving lesson wasn't going to earn her any F1 accolades.
Despite her less-than-stellar road performance, the pint-sized driver managed to reach her destination: the fluorescently lit aisles of Target. Once there, she proceeded to live out every kid's dream (and every parent's nightmare), racking up a whopping $400 in purchases.
As with all great adventures, this one too came to an end.
Store employees, understandably perplexed by an unaccompanied child on a shopping spree, alerted the authorities. When questioned, the girl calmly explained that she had "waited until her parents fell asleep and then took their car to go on an adventure".
She was found drinking a Frappuccino.
"I still haven't had time to process it mentally," her mother Tangie Wilson told The New York Times. "It was very stressful, very exhausting — mentally, physically, emotionally."
Tangie explained that Zoe had an argument with her older sister the previous night, and that when she went on her morning escapade, she also took the family dog, Bear.
"She never has done any of this before, so it still was not registering that she left with the dog," Tangie added.
Watch this video on the two types of parents going school shopping. Post continues below.
The local Bedford Police Department posted a cheeky Facebook update about the humorous, albeit dangerous, escapade.
"Well I've finally found a woman who's in more of a hurry to shop at Target than my wife. More of [a] hurry by 8 years.
"That's right an 8 year old took mommy's car this morning and drove to Target in Bainbridge to shop. Thankfully she made it and was immediately located by Bainbridge Police. She's now home safe.
"Not sure what she bought, or if she was even able to use her Target app to save 5%. We did let her finish her Frappuccino. We're not mean," they finished.
However, Zoe's mum believes that the officers bought her the Frappuccino.
"I think the officers did it to make the story look cute because they thought it was a joke," she said. "They remained professional, but they were smirking and laughing. I think it was mind-blowing to everybody."
Local police Lt. Joe Steiner summed up the situation, stating, "Obviously, she's fine, which is the most important thing. But when you have an 8-year-old behind the wheel of a vehicle, it's not a good thing".
While the child's parents were undoubtedly relieved to find their daughter safe, they were also faced with the sobering reality of what could have happened.
Yet, when Zoe was found safe, her parents were shocked at how calm she was.
"She walked out of the store so normal, like nothing happened. Her response was like, 'I only hit a mailbox and it was green,'" Tangie explained.
While the potential dangers of the situation can't be ignored, it's hard not to be a little impressed by the girl's determination and navigational skills.
As one Reddit user quipped, "I struggle to parallel park and this kid managed to drive for miles!"
Her mother Tangie said the experience is now being used as a yard post to encourage Zoe on her schoolwork.
"[Zoe] was like, 'I'm worried because we're doing multiplication, and multiplication is hard,'" Tangie said. "And I'm like, 'Zoe, did you know how to drive a car before you drove the car the other day?' And she was like, 'No'."
In the end, no charges were filed, and the girl was reunited with her frazzled parents.
As for the $400 worth of Target goodies? We can only hope Zoe at least remembered to use her parents' loyalty card for a little discount.
Featured image: Getty/CNET
Top Comments
Driving for "miles" is something that everyone does in a car, it's like the first thing you learn, to drive on the road, and I'm sure the kid doesn't know how to parallel park.