Before I say anything else, let me reiterate that again.
Writing this piece probably knocks me down a few pegs on the ‘Best Human of The Year’ leaderboard. I understand this. Writing this post will definitely dent my status more than stealing a packet of Butter Menthols in year nine or scribbling ‘MICHELLE WAS HERE’ on a school toilet cubicle ever did.
So yes, I’m apologetic. But.
I’ve begun walking through shopping centres and stifling very bad swear words under my breath. I feel tension whenever I set foot near an unassuming escalator. Smiley, waving strangers now terrify me to my very core. Sometimes I have nightmares about screaming “I PROMISE I HAVE DONATED TO OTHER CHARITIES THIS YEAR” to a long queue of judgemental charity muggers, all shaking their heads while holding stupid clipboards and promotional signs.
I’m so fed up with charity muggers and the pressure to donate to every need over Christmas time.
Listen: While we’re all in a complaining mood, can we also please discuss small talk at Christmas time? (Post continues…)
I realise that the people who heckle me as I walk to go buy a latte are paid to be there. I know they’re just doing their jobs. I know that said jobs are making the world a better place. I just… wish… they weren’t so… intrusive and irritating while they made the world a better place.
I’m at my wit’s end when it comes to being manipulated – and it is manipulation – into donating to a charity I am unfamiliar with and don’t have time to research.