Chappell Roan, and the true cost of asking for a celebrity selfie.

Remember when loving a musician meant buying their album and maybe hanging a poster on your wall? 

Those days are long gone. Now, thanks to social media, fans can feel like they're best friends with their favourite stars. But is this closeness always a good thing?

Rising pop star Chappell Roan doesn't think so. On August 24, she posted a lengthy statement to Instagram that got people talking. And it wasn't about new music or a tour. 

She wrote: "I want to be an artist for a very long time. I've been in too many nonconsensual physical and social interactions, and I just need to lay it out and remind you, women don't owe you s**t."

Roan's reaction is hardly surprising given her meteoric rise to fame. After opening for Olivia Rodrigo on the Guts World Tour and releasing her debut album, The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess, the 'Good Luck Babe!' singer was catapulted into the spotlight.

The intensity of her newfound attention has been overwhelming, she shared during a recent tour stop: "My career is just kind of going really fast, and it's really hard to keep up. I'm just being honest… I'm having a hard time today."

But the price of fame hasn't just impacted Roan's privacy. She revealed on a podcast that some fans have "started to be freaks — like, [they] follow me and know where my parents live, and where my sister works. All this weird s**t." As a result, she added, she was planning to "pump the brakes" on life in the spotlight.

With all this in mind, it makes you think about what it really means to be a fan today. Are we crossing lines we shouldn't? Are we asking too much of the artists we love?

These may not be easy questions, but they're important ones.

When admiration becomes invasive.

Roan isn't alone in feeling overwhelmed by fan attention. Other big names in music have spoken up, too. 

Billie Eilish has dealt with fans showing up at her family's home. Justin Bieber once said he felt like a "zoo animal" because fans were always watching him. Even Ariana Grande, who's notoriously close with her fans, has had to tell them that her personal life is off-limits.

Other artists like Megan Thee Stallion and Lizzo have made similar comments, and they're all asking for the same thing: to be treated like people, not products.

Billie Eilish. Image: Getty.

So why is this happening? A lot of it comes down to social media and something psychologists call "parasocial relationships".

This is when fans develop one-sided relationships with celebrities, feeling like they really know them just from following their social media. Instagram, Twitter and TikTok make us feel like we're part of our favourite stars' lives. We see what they eat for breakfast, who they hang out with, and what they do in their free time. It can make us feel like we really know them.

But here's the thing: we don't. Not really. And that's what Roan is trying to tell us.

Roan's callout of "predatory behaviour disguised as 'superfan' behaviour" shines a light on a growing problem. Some fans, feeling a false sense of closeness, overstep crucial boundaries.

They might show up uninvited at an artist's home, send endless messages, or get too close in public. What these fans see as dedication, artists often experience as harassment — and it's a stark reminder that unchecked fandom can quickly turn toxic.

According to Dr Veronica Lamarche, a social psychologist at the University of Essex who spoke to BBC, these parasocial relationships can become dangerous.

"It can become dangerous when we don't set healthy boundaries in terms of those expectations," she said. Fans might imagine that when they meet their idol, they're going to be best friends. But the reality is, "this celebrity that you've been projecting onto doesn't have any idea who you are", which can be "destabilising" for the artist, Dr Lamarche said.

But the dark side of fandom goes beyond just making artists uncomfortable. In the worst cases, it can be deadly. 

In 1995, Selena, the beloved Tejano singer, was murdered by the president of her fan club. In 2016, Christina Grimmie — a rising star who gained fame on The Voice US — was shot and killed by an obsessed fan after a concert. The tragic events serve as sobering reminders of how fan obsession can spiral out of control.

Selena. Image: Getty 

Drawing a line.

Roan offers a simple yet crucial solution: respect the boundaries. 

"When I'm on stage, when I'm performing, when I'm in drag, when I'm at a work event, when I'm doing press... I am at work. Any other circumstance, I am not in work mode. I am clocked out."

It's a reminder that being an artist is a job, and like any job, there should be times when you're "on" and times when you're "off".

Roan's post isn't just a plea — it's a challenge to modern fan culture. It exposes how misguided 'love' can harm the very artists we admire. As we engage with music, we must ask: Are we nurturing creativity or crossing boundaries?

The future of music depends not just on talented artists, but on fans who understand where to draw the line. 

Feature Image: Getty.