‘We used the dog incontinence nappies.’ 13 parents on the funniest times they've embraced the chaos.

Picture this: you’ve just dropped your kiddos at daycare, snagged a park right out front of your favourite coffee spot and there’s no line. You open your laptop, hot latte in hand and draw a long, deep inhale – the first full breath you’ve taken all morning. 

Ding!

The email opens with: We have two confirmed cases of gastro in your child’s daycare room.

Buzz! 

It’s your kids’ daycare calling. Of course, it is. See you later productive Monday, hello chaos. 

Some days at home with my two-year-old, I can feel myself literally being pulled (by my pant leg) to the very edge of my sanity.

Before 9am, I might be confronted with a ninety-minute negotiation to get a clean nappy on, the successful ingestion of two mouthfuls of food (only to have them gently and inexplicably spat right back into my hand), and one or two fall-to-the-floor meltdowns about who knows what, I think the last one was about cheese?

But then this same little creature, who arguably shares many attributes with those of a tyrant, will take my face in his tiny hands, press his nose against mine, and say “Mummy”, and there is nothing more exquisite in this whole world.

Considering the pace of life these days (and the break-neck speed of the early parenthood rollercoaster), it’s not surprising that Mamamia learned that 58 per cent of mums surveyed are feeling overwhelmed by parenting, which jumps to 78 per cent of us in the Gen Y age bracket alone. 

We’re expecting superhuman efficiency with levels of parenting perfection that simply don’t exist. 70 per cent of mums in the Mamamia community admit, “I care for everyone else and put my own needs last” and while selflessness is a beautiful quality to cultivate, it simply can’t come at the expense of your sanity. 

So, let’s celebrate the parenting moments that could have gotten the better of us, had it not been for a 'Bugger it, I’m giving into the chaos' kind of attitude. The moments where we almost float up outside of our bodies and wonder, what even is my life?

Here are 12 of your stories…

“The time when I was in labour with gastro, couldn’t stop vomiting, midwives running around everywhere, obstetrician racing towards me… then I sneezed, and the baby flew out!” – Casey

“The time my daughter almost caused a road rage incident in the childcare car park because two cars thought they were beeping each other when it was just my toddler beeping the horn in our car. This was the same day my son faked being sick and said he needed to go to the doctor because he wanted a biscuit.” – Steph

“When you run out of nappies and need to use one of the 18-year-old dog’s incontinence nappies, with the help of a little duct tape. #MotherOfTheYear.” – Jen 

“Standing up at the altar of my second daughter’s christening, my toddler continually leant over to blow out the holy candles. They had to be re-lit like 8 times.” – Kailey

“I was solo with my 3-month-old and my 3-year-old and had just been out to lunch (the toddler having drunk a full glass of lemonade). Stopping at the grocery store on the way home, once my hands were full of groceries, just managing to push the pram and hurry my toddler along, she suddenly and urgently declares that she needs the toilet. Before I could say anything, she just peed right in the middle of the milk aisle. I tried to mop it up with my son’s spare blanket but he started losing it so I just got the hell outta there.” – Jessica

“My toddler had a poo explosion in the bookshop, and I had nothing on me or in the car to clean it up. I had to take her nappy off, use her leggings to wipe her bum and throw them in the bin. She was pantless until we got back home, but happy as Larry!” – Jennifer 

“The time when my toddler walked straight into the shower and turned it on. When I yelled to him through the glass 'What are you doing?!' – like a parrot, he yelled back 'What are you doing?! He was fully clothed and dripping wet 😂" – Anne-louise 

“It was the first week of my new job and I was going to drop into work drinks to meet the team and bring my toddler along to say hi, and then go. Of course, she picks that day to refuse her nap. I get there, frazzled, my kid is exhausted, I’m meeting everyone for the first time. But she just started roping people into playing with her. At first, I felt awkward: I don’t know these people and suddenly my 2 year old is pulling them into her chaos. But people loved it, so I just embraced it and just enjoyed a drink by myself while other people took my child 😂 and it helped me get to know my new team. She’s a good icebreaker, my kid.” – Emily 

“Last night my toddler just wouldn’t get in the bath… like a flat out 'no'. I tried for about 45 minutes to no avail. So, I ended up sticking her into the bath fully clothed. She was shocked to say the least and complied with the remainder of the bath. We both had a laugh about her 'wet and sticky' clothes." – Liz 

“I was up feeding my baby in a haze in the dark at 4am and he was fussing and fussing on the bottle and I was saying out loud, 'Why did you wake me if you don’t want to eat!?' In the morning I realised I hadn’t put milk in it." – Krista

“The time my conservative in-laws were over, and my kid wandered out holding my used pad. Not wanting to make her feel bad, I just said 'Oh thank you darling, would you pop that in the bin for me?' She did and gave herself a big clap." – Amelia

"My husband had to run to Bunnings and he took our little one. While there, he thought the fertiliser smelled really strong until he realised our toddler had poo running down her legs, but she had dug her hands into the back of her nappy and was rubbing it all over her t-shirt. So, he ran her to the car but had no change bag with him and ended up stripping her down, wrapping her in the old towel that lives in the boot of the car and driving her home covered in drying poo.” – Ev

“Chaos? How about taking my daughter who freaks out if even a drop of water touches her clothes to swimming lessons.” – Fi

Find the whole Children’s Panadol range at your local pharmacy.

Always read the label and follow the directions for use. Incorrect use could be harmful.