celebrity

"We need to talk about the people who went too far." A recap of the most bizarre Halloween costumes. 

Halloween this year is particularly bizarre and I simply must talk about it. 

Personally, I've always been under the impression that October 31 is about scary things. Ghosts, witches, devils, zombies, a strange light on your dashboard that clearly indicates something urgent but you can't remember what. The Babadook. A call from an unknown number. 

Real f**ked up s**t. 

But in recent years, Halloween costumes have expanded to include characters from TV shows or movies or books, celebrities, pop culture icons, or, like... 'cowgirl'. 

It's quite the contrast, because while homes are decorated with skeletons and blood and spiders and coffins, the people trick-or-treating are dressed as Pamela Anderson. Or a sexy nurse. 

You see, having to be scary is a barrier if your aim is to look really, really hot. That's why people like Emily Ratajkowski shrug their shoulders and just refuse to wear pants. 

Hehe. Image: Instagram @emrata

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But in 2022, it appears there are three different types of celebrities. 

The ones who mostly wanted to be hot (the Kendalls). 

The ones who made Halloween their full-time job (the Kims). 

And the ones who arguably went too far (the Norths). 

Let me explain. 

The Kendalls

I would like it on the record that in all my years of going to costume parties, I have never been able to look:

a) convincing, or

b) hot.

So I am somewhat in awe of people like Kendall Jenner. 

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Is she trying to be scary? Ew no, why would she do that. 

Like her good friend Emily, she's decided to take the crotch out of her pants. And the top out of her... top. And somehow she's Jessie the Cowgirl, and it's a perfectly good costume. 

Winnie Harlow and Ashley Graham are both Kendalls, dressing as Ariel and 'an angel' respectively. 

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Unsurprisingly, Hailey Bieber is a Kendall. This year, she emulated a French supermodel's 1999 runway look and mate I don't want to be rude but how is that a Halloween costume. 

When it's Halloween but you'd personally rather it be the MET Gala. Image: Instagram @haileybieber. 

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Addison Rae went as a sexy but slightly confusing Lady Gaga:

And Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly dressed as Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee, which feels weird given Anderson's abuse allegations but also is purely an excuse for Megan Fox to go blonde.

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Which I respect. But it just doesn't feel very Halloween-y.

The problem with the Kendalls is that it's never clear whether a costume party is going to be full of them. If yes, then you run the risk of turning up like lovely Jennifer Garner here and feeling slightly out of place.

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If no, then you feel a bit silly standing there in literal lingerie while everyone's like, "oh... did you try to be hot?" and you're like "HAHA what no I've just always wanted to dress as a sexy cat lol meow". 

I guess that's why, more recently, another category has emerged: the Kims. 

The Kims

People like Kim Kardashian make Halloween their full-time job for the month of October and potentially also the other 11 months of the year. 

I need everyone to understand that the woman is wearing what appears to be a bodysuit perfectly measured to fit every centimetre of her body, as well as special effects makeup, contact lenses, and a wig to look exactly like a character who surely only exists because of CGI.

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How did she get into the suit? 

Is she wearing underpants?

Are her children going to lose their s**t because their mother has been replaced with Mystique from X-Men?

Did it though, Kim? Image: Instagram @kimkardashian.

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But every year, there seem to be more and more Kims. 

Lizzo went full Kim and it gave me endless joy. 

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She is Marge Simpson, and it's simply hilarious and fun. 

A group costume is also quite Kim-like. Riverdale stars Lili Reinhart, Madelaine Petsch, and Camila Mendes went as the witches from Hocus Pocus, and thank god someone understood the brief. 

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Then you've got those who not only committed to the costume but also a photoshoot in what looks like a professional studio. 

Kylie Jenner has been preoccupied with Halloween for most of her waking life, given that the woman had about 85 costumes all of which could've been straight from a movie set.

(Probably, yes). Image: Instagram @kyliejenner.

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She wore several costumes for a Bride of Frankenstein photoshoot, before dressing as horror movie character Elvira for what I can only assume was a different occasion.  

Kylie pls not everyone can afford to bring their own giant props. Image: Instagram @kyliejenner. 

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The time. The money. The staff. You see, the Kims commit. They're creative. They might look hot, but the outlandishness of their costume means the hotness feels like a byproduct rather than the intention.

Musician G-Flip and Selling Sunset's Chrishell Stause fell into the Kim category this year, not only dressing as each other but going into The Oppenheim Group offices for G-Flip to pretend to be a reality TV real estate agent. 

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Rebel Wilson went as a Barbie Doll still in its packaging which definitely would've involved hours with cardboard, scissors and sticky tape:

And a moment of respect for Miranda Kerr's Catwoman costume, but more importantly, the months it would've taken to convince her husband to go as Batman. 

'I didn't see my future heading this way.' Image: Instagram @mirandakerr. 

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The Kims put us all to shame and you always feel wildly embarrassed when you turn up to a costume party with a mask from the reject shop, only to find an adult woman painted blue. 

But there's an even more 'extra' group of people on Halloween. And it's the Norths. 

The Norths

Okay.

So Kim Kardashian's nine-year-old daughter North went too hard. Too rogue. And these are my favourite types of Halloween people. 

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Sweetie dressed as an alien but it's genuinely terrifying. 

You're scaring your siblings. Image: Instagram @kimkardashian. 

According to Kim, North came up with the prosthetic design herself, and you just know she put it all on and then went, "oh. I actually... maybe I should've copied Aunty Kendall."

But no North. You are what Halloween is all about.

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I can't stop staring because it's so terrifying. Image: Instagram @kimkardashian. 

The Norths are almost too creative for their own good. They have great ideas. They just haven't really considered what those ideas will look like in a social setting. 

This year, quite a few Norths staged photoshoots that were arguably too... much.

Rapper Latto went as a corpse bride but how did you turn one arm and leg into skeletons and is that even your real face at this point.

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Meanwhile, Eugene Lee Yang from The Try Guys went as both Vecna and Eddie from Stranger Things.

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I thought maybe it was an unspoken agreement that no one dresses up as Vecna, given that he is a terrifying monster who is a bit like a dissected corpse and has vines protruding from his body while also being able to crush human beings with his mind. It's just... a lot.

If this video is anything to go by, Diddy also went full North. 

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There are children about, Sir.  

Look. It's a weird year. It's a strange time. People need to dress up to forget about *gestures broadly at everything*. 

But there is one more category of people I haven't touched on. The Clares – those who have never, not once in their lives, nailed a costume. 

They're never quite right. We go too hard when everyone else is chill, or too generic when there's a man over there with a prosthetic face.

And that anxiety, of misreading the vibe, is probably the scariest thing about Halloween. 

For more from Clare Stephens you can follow her on Instagram or TikTok

Image: Instagram + Mamamia.