I had never considered that I could propose to someone until after I started dating Adam. We’d been friends for nearly a decade before that, and I knew right from those early days that he was ‘the one’. When the discussion of marriage came up I told Adam that maybe I would propose to him. He didn’t reject the idea so I tucked away that little bit of information for later.
After being together for a year and a half I began to realise that he was thinking of proposing; but also that he wasn’t too sure on how to go about it. That’s when I started making my own plans. It took about a month to finalise everything, as the timing of everything had to be just right.
Listen: Ask Bossy’s advice on when it’s okay to propose to your boyfriend:
I set the stage two weeks before Adam’s birthday. We were going to be at a friend’s wedding on his actual birthday, so it was the perfect ploy to keep my true intentions a surprise. I pretended that we had other plans for that day, so when he awoke to find an envelope with “Adam’s Amazing Race” written on it he was excited! Yes, that’s right, ‘The Amazing Race’ was the theme of my proposal.
His first challenge sent us to the Sydney Tower to do a skywalk outside the building. At 260 metres above the ground, this was definitely not for the faint-hearted! Once we completed the walk, Adam was handed his next race card, which led us to an Escape Room challenge.
We finished this and then raced to our next destination: indoor rock climbing. After proving that he definitely is the more skilled climber, we completed a short detour home to prepare for the next ‘challenge’ – dinner.
After dining out for dinner and dessert, I handed Adam his final race card which explained that he had one last surprise at our local cinema. His favourite movie is the ‘The Secret Life of Walter Mitty’ – and I had arranged a private screening for the two of us. I proposed before the movie started, reading a heartfelt speech and gifting him presents.
SUBSCRIBER: Jessie's Great Big Mother-In-Law Dilemma
Mamamia Out Loud
Top Comments
This is great. My husband proposed to me in a fancy but private way and retrospectively it wasn't important. The marriage is important guys! People need to be really sure that they're on the same page and aren't living some fantasy of what marriage is like. I love being married and I love my husband but I know many couples who didn't last 2 years and it's mostly because they just had no idea what they were getting themselves into and were on two completely different pages.
It's not unexpected, marriage rates have been steadily falling for a couple of decades. It has to be a good deal for both sides and increasingly there is less and less in it for guys. Many articles have been written about the Sexodus and Men on Strike. Conversely marriage rates in the Muslim world are declining even faster where it is women who are increasingly reluctant to marry because the balance is tipped too far in favour of men.
Women lead the charge to the altar and initiate divorce 80% of the time. A couple of decades ago women decided they wanted their men to be more sensitive, more caring, to better groom themselves, to do more housework. Men made all these changes and guess what? Yes,
Divorce rates actually went up.
In the age of hookup culture and Internet porn, men don't need marriage for sex. Two generations of men have seen the emotional and financial destruction of men divorced and kicked out of their children's lives. Men know it's a coin toss if that would happen to them, 50/50. What's in marriage for an Aussie man? What's the incentive?
What's in it for the man? What's in it for the woman? It's all the same, marriage can be great for both partners or terrible for both partners.
It has to do with the relationship itself and your own expectations.
Best case scenario is two people who care deeply about each other and wish to support each other through life together.
Worst case is one, or both people asking "what's in it for me?" There is the death knell imho.
It's so sad Rose Hancock Porteous lost her true love so early in her marriage. She must be devasted.
Marriage is a contract in the end, I wonder how many men there are out there these days happy about the Family Court who determines matters when, in most cases, the woman chooses to break her agreement?