Not gonna lie: A lot of it is about the dress…
Being asked to be a bridesmaid is a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, you’ve been asked to be there at one of the most significant occasions in your friend’s life. On the other hand: hideous dress that you must pay for and pretend to like, plus bridezillas (Not that I have had this experience…cough…).
Bridesmaid duty elicits a strong response from anyone who’s experienced it, as evidenced in a recent Reddit thread that had former ‘maids dishing on what they loved – and what they bloody hated.
With the help of Reddit, we’ve pulled together a comprehensive list of the dos and don’ts for brides-to-be who’d like to remain friends with their bridesmaids after the wedding.
1. DO tell your bridesmaids what you want them to do.
“Look, I’m here for you. I want this to be the way you want. My expectations are that I’m going to spend a crapload of money, wear a big puffy dress, and actively seek out the company of a lot of your elderly relatives at events. We are friends so this is cool. Do not also ask me to also make decisions,” wrote “MissChiff0”.
2. DO listen to your bridesmaids.
“The bride listened to our input on dresses, including price, and while she had the final say, we got to veto if we had a problem with it, but we didn’t have to,” wrote “Lil_Boots1”.
3. DO seat your ‘maids with their partners.
“Being sat with my fiance [was good]. This has only happened at one wedding. The other times he’s been stuck with strangers he doesn’t know,” wrote “Alecto”.
4. DO say thank you for being my bridesmaid, bridesmaid.
“Sheeplikeme” wrote, “I was a bridesmaid three times last year and what made it the best was just when one of them pulled me aside and said thank you for being here. A sincere acknowledgement of what they’ve done is the best thing.
“Also I had gained weight because of medication and so my dress didn’t fit at first (it did after alterations thank God) but she never freaked out and never made me feel bad about it.”
5. DO just make it be over.
“The only thing I enjoyed from either wedding I was a bridesmaid in was when it was OVER. Honestly. I was honoured, but weddings are awful to be in. I think that’s why I spared my friends the torture and just eloped,” commented “FierceMamaCat”.
6. DON’T make your brideys do stuff they don’t want to.
“The one thing that annoyed me about my sister’s wedding was that she… tried to make me get a square tipped French manicure, which I hate… in the end it made absolutely no difference to how happy her day was,” wrote “Smuffleupagus”.
7. DON’T make your bridesmaids wear icky dresses.
“[The bride’s] mother made our dresses, and while I appreciate the part where I didn’t have to buy one, they were horrible and we were all looking pretty rough… I was wearing an unflattering dress that made me look 10 kilos heavier than I was,” tells “Lil_Boots1”.
8. DON’T make the ‘maids spend a ton of money on your wedding.
“My friend is in a wedding and the bride has forced each bridesmaid to buy specific outfits for the bridal shower, bachelorette party, as well as a $200+ dress. Plus they split the tab for a swanky hotel after a night out,” wrote “centuries_”.
“One bride made some pretty wild requests of us including changing flights, buying expensive costumes for a stagette, and changing plans at the last minute which was troublesome given we were all out of town.” commented “fortheloveoffries”.
9. DON’T be a greedy cow.
“Befores” wrote: [The bride] chose guests based on whom could contribute the most money in gifts. The ceremony and reception could have been beautiful but the bride’s greed along with her incredible need to be in the spotlight made the wedding a little upsetting for everyone involved.”
Have you ever been a bridesmaid? Have you got horror stories? Was is a joy from start to finish? Tell us all!
More wedding-y stuff? We’ve got it ALL.
What does the average Australian wedding cost now? Answer: HOLY BAJEEZUS.
Bridesmaid asked to lose weight for friend’s wedding, wonder if friend is an a**hole.
Hard-won life advice: don’t tell your parents you got married via email.
Top Comments
Ive been a bridesmaid in 4 weddings now and have been pretty lucky so far - barely paying for anything and generally liking the choices made.
The only thing I would suggest to the bride is be up front if bridesmaids are expected to pay for anything and ask for a budget. Most people would be okay with buying the dress as long as they know about it and can budget accordingly (with saying that, don't choose a $300 dress and make them pay for it!).
Secondly, and this is to the bridesmaids - it doesn't matter what you dont like about it (hair, makeup, nails or dress etc) put up with it!! Its the brides wedding and she gets everything her way. You dont like square, french tipped nails? TOO BAD. You don't like wearing winged eyeliner, SUCK IT UP! Three out of the 4 weddings I was in, There was always a bridesmaid that complained about one aspect and actually did it differently regardless of what the bride said. So rude!!
The bridesmaids in the very first photo look like they are holding chickens rather than bouquets of flowers. Also, Charlotte's bridesmaid dress always annoyed me in the movie. There's no way traditional old Charlotte would have worn a black dress to a wedding.