weddings

'I was bridesmaid at my friend's destination wedding. She treated me like the hired help.'

As told to Ann DeGrey

When Jenna* asked me to be a bridesmaid for her extravagant two-day wedding in France, I was over the moon. We'd been friends since our uni days and while she could be a bit of a diva, she was always a lot of fun.

I was picked up from the airport by one of the other bridesmaids who was lovely – she drove us to Jenna's fiancé Pierre's family "estate" which was just an ordinary farm. The plan was that part one of the wedding was on the farm, and part two in Paris – what could go wrong?!

From the moment I arrived, I realised that Jenna had already morphed into a 'Bridezilla'. "Why didn't you get an earlier flight, you should have been here yesterday?" she said, without even hugging me or saying hello. 

Watch: The bride who dumped her bridesmaid. Post continues after video.


Video via iTV.

I was put to work immediately. The groom's mother had me in the kitchen with the "hired help" peeling potatoes.

They clearly had no idea how far away Australia is and that I was jetlagged and beyond exhausted. There was zero empathy for me. Also – where were the other bridesmaids? I quickly realised my role was to help the groom's mum prepare for the wedding. I had to help cook food and help with decorations. I was treated as though I was a lowly paid worker.  

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That night I slept on a mattress in one of the spare rooms. 

The next morning I was immediately put to work again. Jenna was nowhere to be seen... clearly getting her beauty sleep, but the bridesmaids were to try on their dresses. I was horrified when I saw the gown, which had clearly been selected to fit the other bridesmaids, who were similar in size and stature. It looked ridiculous on me but I had no say in the matter. 

The day before the first wedding involved a lot of work and it was absolutely exhausting with my jetlag. Jenna appeared and said we were having a full dress rehearsal for the photos. I heard her tell her other bridesmaids a professional hairstylist and makeup artist was waiting for them - but when I asked if I should come too, she told me it was family only. 

I did my own hair and makeup as best as I could, but right before the shoot, Jenna asked me to re-do my hair. I felt like I couldn't win. 

The farm wedding was relatively uneventful, but when I woke up the next morning the groom's mum told me to get into the kitchen where I was expected to help the paid workers to do the dishes from the night before! I was beginning to think that I'd only been invited to be a helper.

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Next, it was time to drive to Paris for wedding day part two. It was a boiling hot day and by the time we got to the church we were dripping with sweat and had to wait 90 minutes outside. During that time, Jenna had a go at me for not staying until 3am to help her mother-in-law tidy up – I'd stayed until 1am and was still terribly jetlagged and exhausted. "You're my bridesmaid, you're supposed to help with…everything!" She also told me I was a "huge disappointment!"

As we walked into the church, it was so hot; it was unbearable. 

After the service, we were required to follow the bride and groom around Paris in the heat, taking photos of them because they'd only hired a photographer for the first day of the wedding. After the wedding dinner, I legged it to the airport - I'd had enough. 

When I got home, I had the flu for two weeks. Then I had a psychologist friend help me write an email to Jenna, formally ending our friendship. The marriage only lasted six months because Jenna ran off with another man, who I'm told was very wealthy. I have no regrets ending my friendship with her – she treated me like dirt and refused to even thank me for being the only friend willing to fly to her wedding.

*Name has been changed for privacy.

Feature Image: Getty.

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