When I was in my twenties, I told my friend she was allowed to break off her engagement. She was having a panic attack in a bathroom, literally hyperventilating at the prospect of marrying her fiancé.
"You don't have to go through with it!" I said, perched next to her on the bath. "It’s okay to change your mind!"
I could see her face relax. Clearly, the thought hadn't occurred to her before. "Thank you," she said to me. "Thank you."
We hugged and together we left the bathroom. Outside, her engagement party was in full swing. Her fiancé was getting ready to give his speech.
I thought of my friend when I read about a bride who walked out of her own wedding. On the AITA ('Am I The Asshole') forum in Reddit, the woman explained that she had specifically asked – no, pleaded – with her fiancé not to do a cake smash at their wedding. She had been traumatised by a cake smash incident with her abusive mother many years earlier and couldn't bear to go through it again.
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Her fiancé had assured her that he understood and would respect her wishes. And then on the day, he grabbed a huge chunk of cake, shoved it in her face, and laughed with the other guests.
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I told him I would immediately walk out if he did this to me at our upcoming nups, he didn't even know it was a thing.
The video showed men aggressively pinning down their wives, forcefully smashing them in the face laughing along with the crowd while they screamed, kicked thrashed and ran. Horribly, not a single person steps in to put a stop to it.
It doesn't just ruin what is for many, the most important day of their lives, it does ruin trust. It shows you that he doesn't respect your boundaries, your consent, your comfort. And he can and will disrespect you in front of all your closest friends and family, and they will allow it.
So yes, it's okay to leave.
It's just so bizarre