"I wouldn't even spit on her." Last night, Australia met TV's most intense mother-in-law.

Ok, so last night a fully grown woman called another fully grown woman a c-word and hello Bride & Prejudice: The Forbidden Weddings, welcome back.

We’re onto season three of this dysfunctional television show and yes, we’ll admit, we are once again like moths to a very predictable flame.

This year we have a number of family dramas to unpack – a lesbian couple who have parents that don’t accept their union, a mum who doesn’t like her son-in-law’s pot smoking and at least three mothers who can’t seem to understand that their little kids are fully fledged adults who can… choose their own partners.

Here’s Codie-Lea and Laurelle having a fight. Post continues after video.

Which brings us to Codie-Lea and Nathan, who share daughter Star Armani.

The couple met four years ago at the races, and seem pretty damn happy with each other.

He loves her bubbly smiley nature, she loves his caring heart – so far, so good.

Nathan popped the question because he wants to spent the rest of his life with his "best friend" and set an example for his daughter about how a woman should be treated.

Insert: big ugly problem.

His mum hates Codie-Lea. A lot.

"She's a plastic barbie girl, and I don't think she's human," Laurelle tells the camera.

"Everything about her is false. Fake boobs, fake hair, fake eyelashes, fake lips. Codie has taken my son and granddaughter away - and if she was on fire, I wouldn't even spit on her. I hate her guts."

When Nathan and Codie-Lea's daughter was three weeks old, Laurelle turned up and took the baby (without telling Codie-Lea, apparently) to go shopping. Star Armani was unvaccinated at the time.

"I freaked out. My first instinct was where is my baby? You don't just take somebody's kid out of their house without permission," said Codie-Lea.

"It felt like she'd kidnapped my daughter," she added.

Laurelle has a different version of events. She believes Nathan asked her to look after Star Armani that day, and seeing as though she had a few things to do - she took the little girl with her.

The women had a confrontation at the time, which ended in Laurelle telling Codie-Lea she'd see her in court for "grandma rights".

Since then, the young family and Laurelle haven't had a relationship at all.

As the show requires, all three are chucked into a family "counselling retreat" together in a nice big secluded manor. Laurelle hasn't seen Nathan for 18 months and doesn't know the couple are engaged.

What could possibly go wrong.

WELL.

Laurelle starts off relatively level-headed, as Nathan breaks the happy news.

"I think you're jumping in too soon. I don't like the fact she talks down to me, Nathan, and that she's right all the time and I am wrong," Laurelle tells her son.

But the seemingly calm, measured distaste doesn't last long.

"I am not going to give it [my forgiveness]," she snaps when Codie-Lea joins them at the table.

"I am never going to accept you Codie, and that's it. You are the problem, you are the reason Nathan and I aren't communicating. It's all your fault," she screams.

This confrontation is next level crazy and I say this with the Married At First Sight throw downs from cyclone Cyrell still burnt into my retina.

"Why is it that you don't accept me?" Codie-Lea asks.

"Because you're a plastic bitch. Everything's plastic," Laurelle replies.

"I'd rather be fake on the outside than fake on the inside," Codie-Lea retorts.

After some more backwards and forwarding, Laurelle goes in for the jugular: "You're a plastic c***," she whispers venomously.

Well. Guess she won't be coming to the wedding...

What an episode one.

Bride & Prejudice: The Forbidden Weddings continues tonight on Seven at 7:30.